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  • Published on: 2004-10-01
  • Binding: Paperback

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On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life, by John O'Leary

In the bestselling tradition of Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly and Nick Vujicic’s Life Without Limits comes a rousing 7-step plan for living a life on fire, filled with hope and possibility—from an inspirational speaker who survived a near-fatal fire at the age of nine and now runs a successful business inspiring people all around the world.

When John O’Leary was nine years old, he was almost killed in a devastating house fire. With burns on one hundred percent of his body, O’Leary mustered an almost unimaginable amount of inner strength just to survive the ordeal. The insights he gained through this experience and the heroes who stepped into his life to help him through the journey—his family, the medical staff, and total strangers—changed his life. Now he is committed to living life to the fullest and inspiring others to do the same.

An incredible and emotionally honest account of triumph over tragedy, On Fire contains O’Leary’s reflections on being that little boy, the life-giving choices made then, and the resulting lessons he learned. O’Leary very clearly shares that without the right people providing the right guidance, at the right time, he never would have made it through those five months in the hospital, let alone the years that followed as he struggled to regain mobility, embrace his story, and ignite clarity of his life’s purpose.

On Fire encourages us to seize the power to choose our path and transform our lives from mundane to extraordinary. Once we stop thinking solely on the big moments in our lives, we can begin to focus on those smaller opportunities that tend to pass us by. These are the events—the inflection points in our lives—that can determine how we feel about life now, where we are headed in the future, and how many lives we can impact along the way. We can’t always choose the path we walk, but we can choose how we walk it. Empowering, inspiring, remarkably honest, and heartfelt, O’Leary’s strength and incredible spirit shine through on every page.

  • Sales Rank: #1443 in Books
  • Brand: Simon & Schuster
  • Published on: 2016-03-15
  • Released on: 2016-03-15
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.00" w x 6.00" l, 1.15 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 288 pages

Review
My company gets the chance to hear from some of the country’s best speakers, and my friend John O’Leary is one of the best we’ve ever had. His incredible story of persistence, passion, and intense focus left a mark on my team that we we're still talking about more than a year later. Don’t miss John’s message—he will change your life! (Dave Ramsey, New York Times best-selling author and nationally syndicated radio show host)

On Fire, by John O’Leary, celebrates the beauty of LIFE! Through courageously sharing his own pain and devastating loss, O’Leary reveals how crucial it is for us to keep moving forward after a setback or trial—still hope, still dream, still see the possibilities before us. Eventually we must all make the choice to truly live or just exist. A magnificent and inspiring read! (Sean Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens and The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make)

I can count on one hand the number of books I’ve read that created an urgency to push away my fears and past mistakes to step fully into life. Drawn in by John’s incredible story and conversational writing style, On Fire helped me see life’s trials as steppingstones to an enhanced version of me. John’s powerful truths enabled me to stop seeing what I can’t do and see the opportunities still available. On Fire offers a redemptive invitation to all, leading us to believe that no matter how many times we’ve fall down, no matter how dismal the current situation, the best is yet to come. (Rachel Macy Stafford, New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Life)

John O’Leary is truly one of the most amazing humans on theplanet. His story will not only inspire you but give you practical ideas forhow to enjoy your life more, appreciate all that you have, and push you toachieve all that you are capable of doing. (Rory Vaden, Cofounder of Southwestern Consulting and New York Times bestselling author of Take the Stairs)

There a rare handful of people in the world whose life story will change you forever. John O'Leary is one of these people. The powerful life lessons in this book will forever inspire you to live, lead and love differently. (Tommy Spaudling, New York Times bestselling author of The Heart-Led Leader and It’s Not Just Who You Know)

John is the embodiment of someone who made a powerful choice to not be defined by his challenges. This book is a reminder to us all that no matter what happens in life, we deserve and are capable of discovering our passion, pursuing our dreams and making a meaningful impact on the world. (Christine Hassler, author of Expectation Hangover)

Fast-paced, emotional and surprisingly funny, On Fire is an amazing reminder that we might not be able to choose the path we walk in life, but we can always choose the manner in which we walk it. (Joe Buck, Fox Sports)

This is a book about coming alive -- about practicing courage and fully showing up at home, work, and with the people we love. John is a storyteller, change-maker, and cage-rattler. Reading this book is like having a good friend look you square in the eye and say, 'The time to be brave is now.' (Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers Daring Greatly and Rising Strong)

If you haven’t heard John O’Leary speak from the platform of a sold out arena, you’re missing out on an incredible message. But you’re in luck! John has put his inspirational and life-changing message into this brilliant book. His story and words of wisdom will not only encourage you, they will ignite a passion to live your life to the fullest. (Les Parrott, Ph.D. #1 New York Times best-selling author of You're Stronger Than You Think)

About the Author
John O’Leary shares his expertise on overcoming adversity and how to live inspired with more than 50,000 people at more than 120 live events each year around the world. In 2006, he was inducted into the Energizer “Keep Going” Hall of Fame. He was selected as Saint Louis University young alumni of the year in 2008, was voted “Speaker of the Year” for Vistage International, and was recently chosen as one of the Top Ten “Most Interesting People” in Saint Louis, Missouri. He is also a lifestyle contributor for ParadeMagazine.com. He considers his greatest success to be his marriage to Beth, their four young children, and his relationships with friends and family.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
On Fire 1 DO YOU WANT TO DIE?
Life is not about avoiding death; it’s about choosing to really live.

The nurses seem frantic.

They keep telling me everything is okay. That I’m going to be fine. They say they’ll stay with me and there is nothing to worry about.

So why are they racing around me?

Why do they seem panicked?

Why do they continue to poke me and stick me and whisper about me?

I watch them buzzing around me.

Then I look down at my body; it doesn’t look like me.

I look at my hands, but they don’t look like my hands. I look at the remnants of my green sweat suit and tennis shoes; they’ve become one with my arms and legs.

The pain is intense.

The fire this morning changed everything.

Everything.

A nurse says again that it’s going to be okay. I know she’s wrong.

I really messed up today. Today, I blew up my parents’ garage.

I didn’t mean to.

It wasn’t even my fault, really.

It’s just that earlier this week, I watched some older kids in my neighborhood playing with fire. They dripped a little gasoline on the sidewalk, stood back, and then one of the big kids from seventh grade threw a match on top.

The puddle sparked to life.

It was amazing!

I figured if they could do it and get away with it, so could I.

So this morning, with Mom and Dad out of the house, I went into the garage. I lit a small piece of cardboard on fire, walked over to the five-gallon barrel of gasoline, and tilted it to pour a little gasoline on the piece of cardboard.

Just like the older boys, I wanted to make the flame dance.

But the big red barrel was too heavy to lift.

So I set the burning piece of cardboard on the concrete garage floor.

I knelt down, bear-hugged the can, and carefully tilted it toward the flame.

I waited for the liquid to come out.

It never did.

What I remember next was a big boom. The explosion launched me against the wall on the far side of the garage.

My ears rang.

My body hurt.

My clothes were drenched in gasoline.

I was on fire.

I was on fire!

I felt dizzy. Everything around me was ablaze. The only way I could get out of the garage was to go back through the flames.

Yes, I remembered being taught to stop-drop-and-roll.

But I was so scared.

I was in so much pain.

I needed someone to save me.

So I just ran.

I ran through the flames.

I ran up two steps and opened the door to the house. I ran struggling and screaming into the house. Running around downstairs, not sure what else to do. Yelling for someone, anyone, to help me.

I stood in the front hall, screaming.

I was still on fire.

Two of my sisters came down the stairs. They looked at me, covered their faces, and screamed in horror.

Then I saw my older brother, Jim. He raced toward me. He picked up our front doormat and started hitting me with it. He just kept swinging that mat into me. Then he tackled me to the ground, wrapped me in the rug, and carried me outside.

The fire was out.

But the damage was done.

A few minutes later the ambulance came hurtling down the street.

I tried to run to it, but my legs would barely move. So I hobbled. Naked. My skin and clothes had been burned off.

I was so hoping no one would see me.

I was embarrassed. I was scared. I was cold.

I just wanted to get inside.

I climbed in the ambulance and Jim was right behind me, ready to hop in. “Sorry, you can’t come,” the paramedic said as he shut one of the doors.

Jim tried to argue with him, he explained we were brothers, but the man just said, “I am sorry.” And pulled the other door shut.

The ambulance pulled away. Through the back window I watched my brother and two sisters standing in the front yard, smoke rising behind them.

We drove away.

That all happened this morning.

Now I’m here in some emergency room.

Everything has changed.

I feel desperately alone.

And then, I hear a voice in the hallway.

Mom!

Finally!

She always makes everything better. I know she can fix this.

I hear her footsteps.

I see the curtain surrounding me pulled back.

She comes right over to my side, takes my burned hand in hers, gently pats my bald, raw head.

“Hi, baby,” she says, a smile on her face.

I look at my mom. Tears that I didn’t even realize I was holding back begin falling down my cheeks. “Mommy,” I say, my voice shaking in fear. “Am I going to die?”

I know it’s bad. And I so much want her warm encouragement. I want her to brush my fears away. I want to be cuddled and comforted with hope and reassurance. I want her to kiss it all away as only Mom can.

I wait for the promise that she’ll take care of everything. She always does.

She always does.

Mom clasps my hand gently in hers.

She looks into my eyes.

Gathers her thoughts.

And asks, “John, do you want to die? It’s your choice, not mine.”

Three summers before the fire I was at a neighborhood swimming pool.

It was the kind of Midwest, July afternoon perfect for swimming. High humidity. Brutal heat. Blazing sun. Absolutely perfect!

The water was packed with kids and the deck jammed with parents. I was a couple of weeks from turning seven, was just learning how to swim, and loved my newfound independence. That’s right, no more floaties for me!

But overconfidence can be deadly.

It caused me to get too close to the deep-end edge. My head was bobbing just above water as I bounced along the bottom of the pool, and then all of a sudden, I slid as if I were on ice. The gentle-sloping floor dropped off rapidly into the deep end of the pool. Nothing was underneath my feet. I lost my footing. I was sinking.

I slid all the way to the bottom. I didn’t even try to move my arms or kick my legs. I’m not sure if I knew it was hopeless to try or if I knew someone would come for me. But I just sat there on the bottom of the pool.

Looking up.

Waiting.

Hoping.

Expecting.

Knowing.

Then the water broke open above me and a person quickly grabbed me, brought me to the surface, pulled me to the side of the pool, and I was out of the water. I looked up to see my savior, squinting my eyes in the sun.

It was my mom.

She’d jumped in fully clothed and pulled me out of the water.

She saved my life that day.

She just dried me off, wrapped herself with the towel, got me a Popsicle, took off her waterlogged watch, and moved on. She showed me that day and on innumerable other occasions she would be there for me. She would save me. I just had to reach out my hand to her.

So on the day I was burned, as she held my hand, and I asked if I was going to be okay, I already knew what she would do and the words she would speak.

“Baby, you are fine. We’ll get you home today. If you are brave I’ll get you a milk shake on the way home. All you need to think about right now is if you want chocolate or vanilla.”

I wanted the milk shake promise!

Instead, I got this: “John, do you want to die? It’s your choice, not mine.”

Hold up. WHAT?

What kind of question is that to ask a scared little boy in an emergency room!?
SINK OR SWIM
You may be thinking that my mom was the coldest, most callous parent of all time.

I’m not going to argue with you on that point.

I mean, who doesn’t offer his or her little boy, dying in a hospital bed, some love and encouragement? What kind of woman could be so absolutely indifferent and standoffish? Didn’t she know that this poor little fella just wanted a little hope?

But what was it that I needed?

Because in retrospect, that was exactly what she delivered.

I remember looking up at her and responding, “I do not want to die. I want to live.”

She answered, “Then, John, you need to fight like you’ve never fought before. You need to take the hand of God, and you need to walk this journey with Him. Race forward with everything you have. Daddy and I will be with you every step of the way. But, John, you listen to me: you need to fight for it.”

You need to fight for it.

Before that day, I was a typical nine-year-old kid. I shirked responsibility and seldom owned my actions, and even less frequently the resulting effects. I cleaned my room because I had to. I did homework because they made me. I went to church because they told me to.

My parents were in charge.

I followed.

They gave me everything I needed and I happily accepted all of it. I was a bit . . . entitled.

I was the fourth born to parents who loved one another. They also adored all six of their kids.

I lived in a beautiful house.

I had a father who worked, a mother who stayed home.

I lived in a safe neighborhood.

Went to a great school.

We had church on Sundays, blueberry pancakes afterward, and fried chicken at Grandma’s in the evening.

We even owned a golden retriever.

We had it all.

Life was perfect.

And then life changed.

It always does.

When life changes in this way, we can beg and plead to go back to the way things were. Feeling entitled to that reality. Waiting for someone to wave the magic wand and put things back to normal; back to the way life was.

Or we can step up, recognize that it is time to move forward from here, and embrace total accountability and ownership over our lives.

Own your life, John.

Fight for it.

It’s your choice.

Not mine.

Mom’s response demanded ownership. No more entitlement, no more shirking responsibility. She gave me truth.

Reflecting on it today, I see Mom’s question was an inflection point—a moment in time that changes everything that follows.

That day, when it mattered most, I was teetering on the brink of death. Mom courageously walked to the edge of the cliff and looked over it with me. It wouldn’t take much for me to give up, let go, and fall down into the abyss.

But there was an alternative path, a way forward. She pointed away from the cliff. In the other direction was a huge mountain. It looked impossible to climb. But she said that I could do it. That I could choose to turn away from the edge and take small, shuffling steps, up the hill, back to life.

We all have that choice. We choose to vibrantly go about life, soak it up, embrace it, and celebrate it, or we choose not to. No one else can make this decision for us.

We get one life.

We either choose to live.

Or we choose to die.
DO YOU WANT TO DIE?
By all accounts, I should not have survived the fire.

After enduring several minutes engulfed in flames, I was burned on essentially 100 percent of my body.

Eighty-seven percent of my burns were third-degree.

The worst kind.

These burns were deep. They seared through the three layers of skin, through the muscle, and even all the way to the bone in places.

Burned skin will never grow back without donor skin. And, ironically, donor skin must come from the recipient’s body. Since all of my skin was burned, the only donor site that could be harvested was from the least badly burned part of my body, my scalp. It was a near impossible task.

In addition, my lungs were damaged by smoke inhalation. Controlling the core temperature of my body was difficult with no skin. Infections were likely.

Things were extraordinarily dire.

Today the mortality rate for burn patients is calculated by taking the percentage of the body burned and adding the age of the patient. So for me, almost three decades before many advances in burn treatment, the math worked like this: 100 percent of the body burned plus nine years of age equals absolutely no chance of survival.

The fire was a death sentence.

My mom didn’t know all of this when she walked into the hospital room that morning. She didn’t know much about how the fire started, what burn treatment consisted of, or what was to come next.

She didn’t know at that moment the coming agony of going to bed nightly wondering if her little boy would be alive when the next day arrived. She never imagined pacing the hospital floors at night, crying in lonely, darkened corners of the halls, or enduring the hours of agonized waiting through dozens of surgeries with her son’s life hanging in the balance.

All she knew—all we knew—was the fight was on.

Now, I feel obligated to tell you a secret and share some good news before we go on.

Spoiler alert: Don’t read the next sentence if you want to be surprised by the end of the book.

The boy lives.

Yep, while those moments I described in the hospital are heartbreaking, every parent’s worst nightmare, this book has a happy ending. Obviously, or you wouldn’t be reading these words!

But it wasn’t by accident.

I believe in the power of prayer. And I know thousands of prayers were offered up for me that night, and every day for the next five months I spent in the hospital. But I also believe that prayer is not so much intended to change God, but to inform and inspire the next steps of the individuals offering the prayer.

I survived because of the actions and encouragement of remarkable people by my side every step of the way, pushing me to fight, imploring me to believe, and empowering me to take ownership of my life.

And the little boy expected to die is now abundantly alive.

Today, I’ve been happily married for twelve years. My wife, Beth, and I have a strong marriage and four healthy, beautiful, and frequently rambunctious kids. Three boys and a girl. We live in an idyllic community, belong to an active church, and enjoy amazing lives.

This incredible life is the outgrowth of a daring question:

Do you want to die?

A bold question that reminds us that we hold the power to choose our path forward. We may not control everything that happens to us, but we always control how we respond.

Obviously my rash decision to play with fire was a huge inflection point.

I made a simple choice as a child. And in a moment my life, and the life of my family, would never be the same. There was no going back.

But that wasn’t the only inflection point we faced. Countless others came in its wake. Moments in time that changed everything afterward. The choices we made would lead either to a life of hope and possibility or a life of fear and regret.

We all make these choices throughout our lives.

I hope to open your eyes, to help you truly see which path you are choosing to go down. And to point you toward the one filled with possibility.

The first choice you must make to ignite a radically inspired life is to own your life. It is to leave entitlement behind and realize that it is up to you to make the changes in your life.

Stop making excuses.

This is your life.

Do you want to die?

No?

Good.

Then act like it.
NO MORE ACCIDENTS
One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting.

There’s a powerful scene where a seemingly brash, arrogant, know-it-all young man is in the midst of a deep conversation with his psychologist about his past. Eventually, the psychologist tells the troubled young man:

It’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault!

This compelling scene is a pivotal moment in the movie. Embracing the freeing truth in those words would greatly benefit many of us in our lives.

Yet, my encouragement to you is quite different.

When my family and I recall the fire that changed our lives, we describe it as “John’s accident” or simply “the accident.” The term accident appears more than a dozen times in a book my mom and dad wrote about it called Overwhelming Odds.

Accident.

Let me ask you a question: What do you think happens when someone holds a flame to a can of gasoline?

Yup.

That’s not an accident: it’s a law of nature. It’s the result of holding a burning object to highly combustible fumes.

Yes, I was a child.

Yes, I had no idea what would happen.

And, yes, I certainly didn’t expect the massive explosion that took place, but to call it an accident cheapens my role in the event.

When my mom encouraged me that it was my choice whether I lived, she was doing something vitally important. She was challenging me to take full responsibility not only for what happened, but more important, for what would happen next. This was a defining inflection point for me. I had two choices . . . take responsibility for my healing and fight forward, or believe someone else would save me and passively endure.

My mom knew that this was life and death, that I was on the edge of a cliff. That if I didn’t take the reins, I would fall into it and slip away. She knew that she could not make me do it. She understood that I needed to be accountable.

Accountability gets a bad rap these days. What do you think of when you think about accountability? Maybe you think of responsibilities, burdens, a weight you have to carry. Maybe you think of corporations that avoided accountability, that destroyed people’s lives and shrugged their shoulders afterward.

Unfortunately at times it feels like we live in a society that loves to shirk responsibility and expects others to swoop in and save the day.

Ah, but accountability not only keeps you from accidentally slipping backwards in life, it frees you to intentionally navigate the path forward. It gives you the power to take ownership of your life.
STOP SHRUGGING
Personal accountability is a prerequisite for any worthy achievement.

Several years ago I was fortunate to be asked to give an inspirational speech about how to rise above challenges in the real estate market to the Staubach Company, a real estate company started by former naval officer and great Dallas Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach. Over the following three decades it became hugely successful before Roger sold it for more than $600 million in 2008.

I flew to Dallas to speak to a gathering of their senior-level leaders. When my taxicab pulled up to their headquarters, the young woman who’d organized the event greeted me at the door. I smiled and we chatted as we walked to the room where I would prepare before going onstage.

Although I had researched the background of the company and spoken to several of the event’s organizers, I thought I would take this chance to ask this woman what she felt was most critical to the company’s long-standing success.

She paused as she poured me a cup of coffee.

She handed it to me.

And then said, “Well, there is this story that has become legend around here.”

She explained how Roger Staubach had famously demanded accountability from every employee at the firm. He had learned the importance of accountability as a naval officer, seen its value repeatedly on the football field, and knew it was essential to grow a business and a life.

She explained that he empowered each employee to run his or her own business, support one another, and to responsibly work through any issues that arose, both with clients and within his or her team.

It didn’t always go so smoothly.

One day two brokers approached Staubach unable to solve how to split a $16,000 commission. Each agent argued that the entire commission belonged to him. They’d been stuck in this argument for several days and finally went to their boss, threw up their hands, and said, “We can’t solve this. Can you fix this for us?”

Staubach asked a few questions.

Thanked the two brokers for sharing.

He asked if they could see any way past their grievances, see the other’s perspective and own a mutually beneficial outcome. They could not.

He asked if they would be willing to split the commission, recognizing that they both had done substantial work in securing the deal. They would not.

Staubach stood. He shook both their hands, thanked them for their work, and thanked them for their generosity.

He then legendarily took the entire commission and donated it to charity.

He wanted to let those brokers know that they would either be responsible for succeeding together, or be responsible for failing together. It was their choice.

No one else ever took such a complaint to the boss. Future problems were tackled as they occurred at the individuals’ level.

I thanked the woman for sharing that story. It helped me understand the culture of that company and what kind of leadership advice might be relevant. But that story extends well beyond business.

Can you think of a time when you were tempted to be like those brokers?

Have you at times in your life wanted to shrug your shoulders, throw up your hands, and look for someone else to solve your problems? It’s understandable to want to look outside yourself, to put the onus on other things or other people.

We frequently blame things outside of our control.

We point to situations: It’s not my fault. Traffic was bad. The markets stink. The world’s a mess.

We point to others: It’s not my fault. She is too difficult. My employees are idiots. My patients are needy. The commission is all mine.

But excuses get you nowhere.

Here’s my challenge: erase “It’s not my fault” from your vocabulary. Every time you feel it coming to the surface, about to roll off your tongue—stop. Say instead, “It’s my life and I’m responsible for it.”

This changes everything.

It’s my life and I’m responsible for it.

No one’s going to save you.

Accountability means you take ownership of your own life. Realize that you hold the keys to changing things, solving your problems, improving your life, and making a difference. And it’s not just about action and fixing. Accountability also provides the power to let things go, to surrender things you can’t change, to forgive events and people that have burned you in the past. It demands that we stop shrugging our shoulders, throwing up our hands, thinking that we can do nothing.

Your life provides the daily inflection points to stop looking outside yourself, to stop waiting for someone else to change, and to stop passively waiting for someone else to step forward.

This is your moment to choose to live.

To really live.

Own it.
PICK UP YOUR FORK
Have you ever experienced the joy of feeling that you finally made it?

Perhaps it was graduating school, landing your first job, or getting married. You worked, strove, labored, and achieved. You summited a mighty peak—and then discovered that the difficult part of your journey was just beginning?

For me that experience was coming home after being burned. I was nine years old, had just spent almost five months in the hospital, endured a couple of dozen surgeries, and lost my fingers to amputation. The painful experience of being away from family, facing continuous procedures, was finally over. The struggle was over; the celebration was on!

The hospital that had admitted me with no chance of surviving was now releasing me back to my family. I was now burned, scarred, bandaged, and wheelchair bound, but very much alive and grateful.

We pulled out of the parking lot, made the five-minute drive home, and turned onto our street. I was absolutely overwhelmed by the cars, fire trucks, balloons, and friends lining our subdivision.

Under an awning, a line formed of family, friends, classmates, neighbors, first responders, and community members welcoming us home. Music played and people cried.

The miracle had happened.

The boy lived.

Eventually, though, our friends went home, the cars pulled away, the front door shut, and we were left to decide how we’d move forward as a family.

That night Mom made my favorite meal: au gratin potatoes. (If you hadn’t figured it out yet, this likely just cemented it for you: I was a strange kid!) We sat around the kitchen table in our reconstructed house as a family for the first time since the night before the fire.

Dad and Mom sat at opposite ends of the table. Three of my sisters, Laura, Cadey, and Susan, lined one side, with my brother, Jim, my sister Amy, and me on the other. Our family had been through inconceivable trials over the preceding months.

We’d lost our house in the fire.

My siblings had lost their parents to their near-24/7 hospital vigil.

My brother and sisters, ranging in age from eighteen months to seventeen years old, had been split up, staying with friends and relatives until the house was rebuilt.

My parents almost lost their son.

I’d lost my fingers, the ability to walk, and was scarred from my neck to my toes.

And yet here we were.

We made it.

Home.

Together.

One family.

Changed.

Scarred.

Transformed.

And alive.

We were back to eating dinner, cleaning up spilled milk and worrying about elbows on the table. Life would return to normal. But undoubtedly, a miracle had occurred. So tonight we celebrated.

The food looked delicious. I closed my eyes and smelled the cheesy goodness. Then opened them and realized . . . I couldn’t eat anything. Because of wrappings, splints, and my inability to hold a fork, I could not partake in my celebration meal. I stared at my plate, not sure what to do.

My sister Amy saw me struggling. So she thoughtfully grabbed my fork, speared a few potatoes, and elevated them toward my mouth.

Then I heard it.

“Put that fork down, Amy. If John is hungry, he’ll feed himself.”

I turned my head toward my mom.

What did she just say?

Put that fork down?

He’ll feed himself?

What the heck, Mom? Haven’t I already been through enough? Are you kidding me? I’m hungry and I can’t eat!

That night I cried at the table. I got mad at my mom. I told her I could not do it, that it wasn’t fair, and I’d been through enough. The night quickly shifted from celebration and laughter to upheaval and contention.

The party was over.

Mom ruined it all.

Yet that night also created another inflection point for a nine-year-old boy. As my siblings cleared their plates and my hunger and anger mounted, I wedged the fork between what remained of my two hands. My fingers had been amputated just above the bottom knuckles. Because the skin had still not entirely healed, my hands were wrapped in thick gauze. I looked like a boxer, fighting to get a fork between two boxing gloves.

It was painstakingly slow.

The fork repeatedly fell out of my grasp.

But eventually, I awkwardly stabbed at the potatoes, brought them to my mouth, and chewed them.

And stared angrily at my mom.

I was mad.

My hands throbbed.

She’d ruined my night.

I hated her.

But I was eating.

Looking back on it, I see what a courageous stand my Mom took. It must have been extremely painful for her to sit with the entire family watching her little guy. How much easier and seemingly more loving it would have been to just feed me those darn potatoes and bring out the ice-cream cake.

How much easier it is in life to not do—or to make others do—the hard stuff.

Easier to take a picture of the family with everybody smiling at the dinner table, a little kid in a wheelchair at the end, post on Facebook, and write, “Back to normal! We’re all home and doing great!”

Mom wasn’t worried about what others thought.

She wasn’t concerned about Photoshopping the moment.

Mom utilized this moment as a reminder that others would be there to encourage, to serve, to love me. But this was still my fight, this was still my life. It might be ripe with challenges, but it was also my opportunity to realize that none of those obstacles would be insurmountable.

This moment was just the beginning of many times when I would have to find a way. She forced me to pick up my fork. And I’m completely convinced I would not be living the life I am today if she hadn’t.

The day I was burned, she challenged me to choose not to die.

The night I came home, she freed me to choose to really live.

Most helpful customer reviews

37 of 40 people found the following review helpful.
Inspiring Lessons
By Bassocantor
ON FIRE is a book of extremes. I admit I cried reading this book. The story starts with John as a young boy. He sees some other kids playing with gasoline and matches. It looks like a lot of fun: "Just like the older boys, I wanted to make the flame dance." You can guess what happens next to John. This part of the book is painful to read--honestly, I could hardly bear to read his account.

Rescued, barely, John's recovery experience in the hospital is as bad as you might imagine. Perhaps the worst part is the "broom closet." That's where the burn therapists wheeled John when they worked on moving his knees. He screamed so badly that they wanted to give him some privacy. John recalls that it was "the most acutely painful experience in my life." However, it was in that broom closed that John learned a lesson about growth--if there is no movement, there is no progress. So it was in that small broom closet where John learned another important lesson. That lesson the author calls, Choice # 5: "Refuse to become stagnant by purposefully growing and intentionally stretching in every area of life."

And so, John O'Leary presents these 7 Life Choices, learned in a fashion that none of us would want to learn. Although most of these choices came from the author's horrific childhood accident, some of the ideas came from inspiring figures the author met as an adult. One inspiring figure was a professional announcer, who had simply made the choice of living a life of SIGNIFICANCE, rather than fame.

ALL of the choices in ON FIRE are serious ideas, and worth pondering.

So all in all, I found ON FIRE to be a moving, sobering book. The stories are real, and the lessons are as real as the stories.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful.
Couldn't put it down.
By pbarry77
Rarely am I inspired to finished an inspirational book....I couldn't put this down.

The first sentence had me hooked, and I read it in an afternoon. Thoughtful, insightful, surprisingly funny and deeply impactful, the book reads with the speed and flow of "A Million Little Pieces," -- only this actually happened.

Somehow O'Leary is able to make you feel like his story is yours and your story is his. Not easy to do but expertly crafted and extremely well-written.

The book is a perfect fit for anyone with a desire to make tomorrow a little bit better than today.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
positively amazing! "On Fire" by John O'Leary is his unbelievable ...
By Willconhenmom
Absolutely, positively amazing! "On Fire" by John O'Leary is his unbelievable true story of being burned as a child but John is able to transport the reader into his journey and inspires one to live their life in a radically different way. I can't say enough about this book and about the person himself. John is an inspiration to anyone that reads this book or has the honor to hear him speak in person. You will not be disappointed in this read!

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Kamis, 16 Desember 2010

[S901.Ebook] PDF Download Der Parasit (Kindle Single) (German Edition), by Karin Slaughter

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Der Parasit (Kindle Single) (German Edition), by Karin Slaughter

Es hätte jede Nacht sein können, und sie könnten zwei beliebige Brüder sein – doch so war es nicht.

Die Szene spielt in einer Bar in Atlanta. Die Musik ist laut, und die Tanzfläche voll. Der gut aussehende Bruder nimmt ein Mädchen mit vor die Tür.

Was passiert, nachdem sich schlimme Taten auf dem Parkplatz ereignen, kann nur mit zwei Worten beschrieben werden: Typisch Slaughter.

Von der ersten bis zur letzten Zeile, ist Der Parasit so böse wie unterhaltsam - ein unvergessliches Stück einer der beliebtesten Erzählerinnen der Gegenwart.

  • Sales Rank: #855353 in eBooks
  • Published on: 2012-07-31
  • Released on: 2012-07-31
  • Format: Kindle eBook

About the Author
Bestsellerautorin Karin Slaughter schreibt beliebte, puls-beschleunigende Thriller, inklusive der populären "Grant-County"-Serie. Als langjährige Einwohnerin Atlantas, Georgia, pendelt sie … zwischen Küche und Wohnzimmer.

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Wao!
By Kindle-Kunde
dieses Buch ist für mich eine herausragende Erzählung.Noch nie habe ich eine solche Geschichte gelesen,noch anderweitig solche starken Gefühle dazu gehabt.Für mich, kann ich Diese Kurzgeschichte über das zwiespältige Verhältnis siamesischer Zwillinge nur weiterempfehlen!Karin Slaughter hat damit ein unvergessliches Thema aufgegriffen,super!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Slaughter somehow different
By S. Schulz
Absolutely worth to read but it is not a typical Slaughter . Very different and there are dark nuances which left me uneasy . The book
is somehow very american :-) and frighteningly realistic .

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Selasa, 14 Desember 2010

[M277.Ebook] PDF Ebook Lessons That Change Writers: Lessons with Electronic Binder, by Nancie Atwell

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Lessons That Change Writers: Lessons with Electronic Binder, by Nancie Atwell

In Lessons That Change Writers, Nancie has narrowed and deepened her conversation with teachers, to focus on the minilesson as a vehicle for helping students improve their writing. She shares over a hundred of these writing lessons which are described by her students as "the best of the best." The lessons fall into the following four categories that provide the structure for this book: Lessons about Topics: ways to develop ideas for pieces of writing that will matter to writers and to their readers Lessons about Principles of Writing: ways to think and write deliberately to create literature Lessons about Genre: in which we observe and name the ways that good free verse poems, formatted poetry, essays, short stories, memoirs, thank-you letters, profiles, parodies, and book reviews work and Lessons about Conventions: what readers' eyes and minds have been trained to expect, and how marks and forms function to give writing more voice and power and to make reading predictable and easy.Learn more about Lessons That Change Writers by visiting www.lessonsthatchangewriters.com where you can review the table of contents, download sample lessons, read a passage from the introduction, and watch a lesson walk through!

Learn more about "first"hand

  • Sales Rank: #164139 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: FirstHand
  • Published on: 2007-08-22
  • Released on: 2007-08-22
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 10.90" h x .65" w x 8.50" l, 1.80 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 296 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

About the Author
Nancie Atwell is one of the most highly respected educators in the U.S. Her classic In the Middle, now in its third edition, has inspired generations of teachers. Visit Heinemann.com/InTheMiddle for exclusive blogs from Nancie about the third edition. Systems to Transform Your Classroom and School takes you inside her school to see what innovations have made the biggest impact on learning schoolwide, while her DVDs Writing in the Middle and Reading in the Middle give us a seat in her writing and reading workshops to see firsthand how she helps students become independent, sophisticated readers and writers. Nancie is also the author of classroom materials through Firsthand. Lessons that Change Writers is a year's worth of instruction straight from Nancie's file cabinets, while Naming the World helps teachers jumpstart their literacy teaching each day the way Nancie does - with poetry, the mother genre. Nancie taught seventh- and eighth-grade writing, reading, and history at the Center for Teaching and Learning, a K - 8 demonstration school she founded in Edgecomb, Maine, in 1990. Nancie was the first classroom teacher to receive the NCTE David H. Russell Award and the MLA Mina P. Shaughnessy Prize for distinguished research in the teaching of English. Nancie was recently named 2010 Teacher of the Year by River of Words; a California-based non-profit educational organization and also received an honorary degree from the University of New Hampshire during its 2011 commencement ceremony. Read Nancie's Education Week article in which she makes the case for literature in the core standards. To see and hear Nancie's response to the NY Times article on the place of student choice in reading, click here. Read the Article »

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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Writing Workshop Lessons
By avid camper
This book and e-binder are excellent sources of minilessons for writing workshop in the middle grades. Nancie Atwell provides her rationale for each lesson, a scope and sequence of lessons for the year, a succinct description of the basics of writing workshop and the 76 minilessons as well as a cd with all the reproducible handouts that accompany the lessons. Lessons That Change Writers is the companion book to Atwell's In the Middle: New Understandings About Writing, Reading, and Learning. I highly recommend both books for anyone teaching reading and writing in grades 5-8.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
A tremendous resource for writing teachers
By Writer's Locker
Don't let the cost of this product scare you away. It's worth every cent. Nancie Atwell is one of the leading voices in teaching writing as a process using solid mentor texts and student awareness of writing technique. This is a fantastic resource for writing teachers.

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Will change your students writing forever.
By teachergirl
An unbelievable source of mini lessons that lead to real and fantastic changes in your students writing. Terrific. Well worth every penny.

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  • Sales Rank: #8447343 in Books
  • Published on: 1709
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The City Baker's Guide to Country Living: A Novel, by Louise Miller

"Mix in one part Diane Mott ­Davidson’s delightful culinary adventures with several tablespoons of Jan Karon’s country living and quirky characters, bake at 350 degrees for one rich and warm romance." --Library Journal

A full-hearted novel about a big-city baker who discovers the true meaning of home—and that sometimes the best things are found when you didn’t even know you were looking

When Olivia Rawlings—pastry chef extraordinaire for an exclusive Boston dinner club—sets not just her flambéed dessert but the entire building alight, she escapes to the most comforting place she can think of—the idyllic town of Guthrie, Vermont, home of Bag Balm, the country’s longest-running contra dance, and her best friend Hannah. But the getaway turns into something more lasting when Margaret Hurley, the cantankerous, sweater-set-wearing owner of the Sugar Maple Inn, offers Livvy a job. Broke and knowing that her days at the club are numbered, Livvy accepts.

Livvy moves with her larger-than-life, uberenthusiastic dog, Salty, into a sugarhouse on the inn’s property and begins creating her mouthwatering desserts for the residents of Guthrie. She soon uncovers the real reason she has been hired—to help Margaret reclaim the inn’s blue ribbon status at the annual county fair apple pie contest.
 
With the joys of a fragrant kitchen, the sound of banjos and fiddles being tuned in a barn, and the crisp scent of the orchard just outside the front door, Livvy soon finds herself immersed in small town life. And when she meets Martin McCracken, the Guthrie native who has returned from Seattle to tend his ailing father, Livvy  comes to understand that she may not be as alone in this world as she once thought.
 
But then another new arrival takes the community by surprise, and Livvy must decide whether to do what she does best and flee—or stay and finally discover what it means to belong. Olivia Rawlings may finally find out that the life you want may not be the one you expected—it could be even better.

  • Sales Rank: #26224 in Books
  • Published on: 2016-08-09
  • Released on: 2016-08-09
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.25" h x 1.11" w x 6.38" l, .0 pounds
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 352 pages

Review
"Miller elevates the story by turning it into a Pinterest fantasy of rural America. . . [Her] visions of bucolic Vermont landscapes, cinnamon-scented kitchens and small-town friendliness make this reverie of country life an appealing one." --The New York Times Book Review

“This book is super cozy—probably because it takes place in a small town in Vermont, and because the protagonist has a dog named Salty, and because she’s a baker who spends her days working at an inn. Okay, it’s Gilmore Girls.”—Bon Appetit, “8 Food Novels You Need to Read this Summer”

“With insight, warmth, and humor, Louise Miller describes life in a kitchen as only an experienced baker can. A magnificent debut.”—J. Ryan Stradal, author of Kitchens of the Great Midwest
 
“This book comes with a warning: do not read while hungry. Absolutely charming and perfectly delicious. Bliss.”—Natasha Solomons, author of The Song of Hartgrove Hall
 
“A soup-to-nuts treat.  If only Livvy Rawlings could move her whisks and mixing bowls into your own kitchen to work the magic Louise Miller spins throughout these scrumptious pages.”—Mameve Medwed, author of How Elizabeth Barrett Browning Saved my Life 
 
“Genuine and sweet (with a pinch of salt), THE CITY BAKER'S GUIDE TO COUNTRY LIVING is a feast for the senses, for the head and the heart. With great warmth and generosity, Louise Miller brings a place and its lovable inhabitants to life. I adored this book; it made me want to dance. And eat.”—Kate Racculia, author of Bellweather Rhapsody
 
“Louise Miller knows that a great story is like a prize-winning apple pie—warm, full to the brim with character, and not too sweet.  Her descriptions of the Vermont countryside, the Sugar Maple Inn, and baker Livvy Rawling's desserts make you want to pack a bag and head out for a long weekend in New England.”—Erica Bauermeister, author of The Lost Art of Mixing 
 
“A warm, fresh look at finding one's way and making new choices in life.  It was studded with satisfying nuggets of wisdom throughout, like dabs of butter in a homemade pie, every baker's--and writer's--secret ingredient of choice.”—Ellen Airgood, author of South of Superior 

"Louise Miller's debut is like a walk in the Vermont woods on a sunny day: crisp, bright, colorful, soul-reviving....Delicious.” —Brenda Bowen, author of Enchanted August

“I fell in love with the community of Guthrie, VT, the soul-healing landscape, the quirky characters, and the sumptuous desserts Olivia Rawlings creates for them.” —Juliette Fay, author of The Shortest Way Home

“Compulsively readable and written with deep tenderness. . .  in a rare book that not only whets the appetite, but makes the heart a little more whole.” --Erika Swyler, author of The Book of Speculation

"Add in some romance and mouth-watering food descriptions, and Louise Miller’s debut novel is a giant serving of comfort food. Treat yourself." --RealSimple

“[An] endearing debut. . . Miller, a pastry chef herself, writes about food with vivid detail, but her rhythmic prose is even crisper when her interests converge [and she] also excels at characterization, revealing her protagonist’s complex pasts in subtle ways.” –Publishers Weekly

"Beautifully light and rich. . . . Comforting without being cozy, this is escapist fiction for those who want a quieter—and tastier—life." --Elle.com

About the Author
Louise Miller is a pastry chef who lives and works in Boston, MA. She received a scholarship to attend GrubStreet’s Novel Incubator program, a yearlong workshop for novelists. She is an art school dropout, an amateur flower gardener, an old-time banjo player, an obsessive moviegoer, and a champion of old dogs. The City Baker’s Guide to Country Living is her debut novel.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
***This excerpt is from an advance uncorrected copy proof***

Copyright © 2016 Louise Miller

Chapter One

September

The night I lit the Emerson Club on fire had been perfect for making meringue. I had been worrying about the humidity all week, but that night dry, cool air drifted in through an open window. It was the 150th anniversary of the club, and Jameson Whitaker, the club’s president, had requested pistachio baked Alaska for the occasion. Since he asked while he was still lying on top of me, under the Italian linen sheets of bedroom 8, I agreed to it—even though I was fairly certain that baked Alaska would not have been on the menu in 1873. But Jamie was a sucker for a spectacle, and his favorite thing on earth was pistachio ice cream, which his wife wouldn’t let him eat at home.

I added sugar to the egg whites, a spoonful at a time. As they whipped up into a glossy cloud of white, I leaned a soft hip against my butcher-block worktable and surveyed the kitchen. Now, I’ve wielded my rolling pin in trendy city restaurants, macrobiotic catering companies, and hotels both grand and not so grand. You would think a Boston Brahmin private club like the Emerson, with its dim lights, starched linen, and brass-studded leather chairs, would have a deluxe kitchen. But no matter what the dining room (or what we in the business call the front of the house) looks like—even if we’re talking duct-taped Naugahyde benches hugging tin-rimmed Formica tables—the back of the house, the kitchen, is always the same: a sea of stainless steel. Tables, bowls, freezer all gleaming in a cold gray. Whisks and spoons hanging in orderly rows. A mixer with a hook the size of my arm bent to beat bread dough. It’s comforting. No matter how many times I changed jobs, I could always count on the kitchen: the order, the predictability, everything familiar and in its place.

I was swirling the last slope of meringue across the layers of ice cream and cake when I heard the champagne corks pop in the neighboring Jefferson Room. Glen, the GM, sprinted into the kitchen.

“Almost ready, chef?”

I held out my sticky fingers. “Hand me that blowtorch.” The blue flame swept across the meringue, leaving a burned trail of sugar in its wake.

A swell of baritone voices thundered through the swinging door, pounding the Emerson Club anthem into the kitchen.

“That’s our cue,” Glen said.

I ran my fingers through my freshly dyed curls. I had gone with purple this week. Manic Panic Electric Amethyst, to be exact. Not historically accurate for a chef in the nineteenth century, but it’s not like I was a guest.

With my thumb across the lip of the bottle, I doused the confection with 150-proofrum and hoisted up the tray. “Light me on fire.”

Glen lit a match and carefully set the flame to the pool of rum in the hollowed-out eggshell tucked into the top. In a flash, the flame caught hold and spread across the waves of meringue. Glen raced in front of me, holding open the doors. I stepped into the room to the last notes of the anthem. The crowd burst into applause.

The tray must have weighed forty pounds. Silver is heavy, and they don’t call it pound cake for nothing, never mind the ten gallons of pistachio ice cream. But I stretched my mouth wide into a smile and walked about the room, squeezing between the closely set tables and standing with the members as they snapped pictures. The flames were dying down but not quite out. Jamie stood at the back of the room, by the floor-length windows, his arm wrapped tightly around his wife’s waist. Their children were by their side, miniatures of their parents, one in a dark suit, the other in a crinoline dress. A light sweat broke out across my brow. How strange that the flames were getting smaller but I was growing hotter by the second. The room was crowded. Members were packed in small groups on every inch of carpet. Somewhere, I knew Glen was counting heads and mumbling to himself about maximum capacity. I elbowed my way through, my biceps straining as I carried the tray above my head, trying to avoid catching anyone’s gown on fire. The club treasurer put his arm around my waist, his palm resting lower on my hip than was respectable. “One for the newsletter,” he said. My smile widened. I tightened my grip on the tray. Jamie looked over at me then, his eyes vacant, skimming over and then past me. He whispered in his wife’s ear. She laughed, glancing in my direction. It was the last thing I saw before the tray slipped from my fingers and hit the floor.

After the abrupt end of my shift, I stopped by my apartment just long enough to stuff some clothes into a canvas bag and pickup Salty, my chunky Irish wolfhound mix. I drove north for three hours, fueled by the desire to be called “hon,” blasting the heater to dry my sprinkler-soaked hair, which was sticking to the back of my neck like seaweed. Salty, who just barely fit in the backseat, pressed his cold nose to my ear and sniffed. The scent of burned velvet clung to my skin. A slow-motion video of those last moments in the Jefferson Room played over and over in my head. A tablecloth had caught fire first. It might not have been so bad if it hadn’t been the tablecloth under the four-foot ice sculpture of a squirrel sitting upright with an acorn in its outstretched paw. The flames caused the squirrel to melt rapidly. When its arm snapped off, the sculpture tipped over, taking the table with it. A wave of oysters, clams, and shrimp flew into the panicked crowd before hitting the floor. The flames caught the edge of one of the antique velvet curtains, which ignited like flambéed cherries. And that’s when the sprinkler system kicked in.

At the sign for exit 17, I pulled off the highway and into the glowing parking lot of the F& G truck stop. Inside, I lingered by the hostess stand, watching dozens of pies rotate in their glass display case: sweet potato, maple walnut, banana cream. A waitress in a pastel uniform seated me in a corner booth away from a table of rowdy truckers, but even from across the room their gruff laughter felt comforting. My dad would bring me to the F&G for lunch whenever he let me tag along on his delivery route from Boston to the Canadian border—mostly just on school vacations, or if I needed a mental-health day. The last time I had been there with him was to celebrate having passed my driver’s exam. I leaned my head back against the booth, staring at the tractor-trailer wallpaper, yellow with grease, age, and smoke.

Half an hour later, I forked the last piece of pie into my mouth, chocolate pudding thick on my tongue. The waitress refilled my coffee mug and grabbed my debit card and check. I dug around in my purse, pulled out my cell phone, and, sliding down low in the booth, dialed my best friend Hannah’s number.

“Hrmph?” Hannah groaned into the phone. “Hann, it’s Livvy. I’m at the F& G.” I scanned the dining room. No truckers were giving me the “get off your cell phone” glare.

“What flavor did you get?” Hannah paused. “Livvy, what time is it?”

“Black bottom.”

The waitress’s lace-trimmed apron filled my view. I looked up to see her mouth set in a rigid line.

“Just a sec,” I mouthed.

“Declined,” she said, waving my card in the air before slapping it on the table.

“Livvy, are you still there?”

“Sorry, Hann.” I pawed through my messenger bag and pulled a couple of crumpled dollar bills out of the bottom. “Listen, can I come over? In about an hour? For a few days?”

Hannah made a clucking sound. “Bring me a piece of key lime.”

 

My black Wayfarers could block out the beams of sunlight that stabbed at my eyes like little paring knives but they couldn’t block out the smells. Earth, onions and herbs, and the pungent aroma of goats and ground coffee challenged my ability to keep last night’s piece of black-bottom pie in its place. I wasn’t hungover, exactly. That fine line between still drunk and sobering up was more accurate. Hannah had woken me at seven, despite the fact that I had arrived at her house at one thirty in the morning. She met me at the door bleary-eyed, traded the bottle of Jack Daniels that she kept solely for my visits for the key lime, and went wordlessly back to bed. I opted to watch Vermont Public Access—a repeat of a sheep-shearing contest—while polishing off a tumbler or two. But today was Saturday, farmer’s market day, and Hannah insisted on arriving before it opened.

The Guthrie Farmer’s Market was held every Saturday from eight in the morning till one p.m. in the high-school parking lot. Four aisles of white tents stretched across the pavement. By the entrance, between tents, an elderly man dressed in hunting gear scratched out dance tunes on a fiddle.

Hannah was on a mission. She headed straight for a display of sunflowers, walking as fast as a person can without breaking into a run. I took a slow meander through the tents in search of coffee, Salty in tow. Ceramicists hefted thickly glazed mugs. A pair of knitters, needles clicking, turned the heels of socks. A woodcarver stood whittling away at a scene of a black bear and her cubs in the pine trees. Hannah, clutching a bouquet of sunflowers to her chest like she had just won the Mrs. Coventry County pageant, found me in an herbalist’s tent, rubbing lavender-scented lotion into my palms. I leaned over to her. “They should name this Eau de Grandmother.”

She looked over my shoulder at the herbalist to make sure he hadn’t heard me. We strolled from tent to tent, Hannah filling up her wicker basket with vegetables. “Are you okay?” she asked. “You look pale.”

I sighed. Arriving at work before dawn and finishing after the sun went down did give me a vampirish hue. Hannah, however, still had a healthy summer glow. I was pretty sure the Clinique counter had something to do with it. I slipped the tips of my fingers underneath my sunglasses and rubbed my eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Honey, spill it. Why are you here?” I leaned my head on her shoulder. “Because you’re my oldest, dearest friend in the world and I missed you?”

Hannah was the one person I could always count on. She was the kind of friend who showed up when you were too depressed to get off the couch and would proceed to clean your apartment and return your overdue library books before sautéing you a pile of vegetables for dinner.

“And you drove all the way up here in the middle of the night? In your work uniform? You were here five weeks ago.”

“How about I was desperate for a piece of pie and ended up at the F&G, and it seemed like a shame not to visit when I was so close to Guthrie?”

Hannah looked at me with practiced patience. “I’ve known you long enough to know that after your shift you crave beer and French fries, not pie.”

I glanced down at my hands. They were veiny, like my grandmother’s.

“I may have caused a small fire at work.” “Oh my goodness. Was anyone hurt?”

I thought of Jamie’s wife. She had on an exact replica of the dress Ginger Rogers wore in Top Hat, the white one with all the feathers. “No, no. Not hurt. Just wet.”

“Jesus, Liv. Do you think you’ll be fired? Could the guy you’re seeing help?”

Hannah knew I was seeing someone from the Emerson, but when she pressed for details I just told her it wasn’t serious. She wouldn’t have approved of the fact that, at sixty-four, Jamie was exactly twice my age. Plus the fact that he was married. “No one ever really gets fired from the Emerson,” I said as I nervously ripped the husks and silk off random ears of corn. “More like encouraged to ‘take a break.’”

She scanned the parking lot. After a few moments she linked her arm in mine. “Let’s go see if there are any sticky buns left. They’re award-winning.”

The deeper we elbowed our way into the mass of hungry townsfolk, the harder my head began to pound. My stomach did a little shift as the smell of manure-caked work boots reached my nostrils. I really should never drink whiskey.

“Uh, Hann? I’m going to have to sit this one out. Get me something greasy.”

Hannah wrinkled her nose. “How can you eat grease with a hangover?”

“It’s healing,” I said as I headed out of the fray.

The fresh air was delicious. I found a quiet spot under a tree on the edge of the parking lot and plopped myself down, leaning my back against the rough bark. Salty sniffed at the grass, turned around three times, then finally lay down beside me, stretching his legs out in front of him.

It seemed like the whole town was at the market that day, and half of it was in the sticky-bun line. Hannah had explained that the market was the only time the farmers ever saw one another during the harvest. Between customers they traded seeds and service, exchanged news of crops and births, and gossiped. Apparently, the rest of the townspeople were there to do the same. I watched a tall, slight man unloading wooden crates of apples, plaid shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbow. Sharp-nosed and thin-lipped, with dark eyes framed by black plastic eyeglasses, haircut and shave long overdue. He felt familiar. Then I realized I was remembering a man in a Walker Evans photograph taken during the Dust Bowl.

I scanned the crowd for Hannah and found her speaking to an older woman with her hands on her hips whose sky blue cardigan hugged her narrow shoulders. She frowned. Hannah patted her arm and pointed to me, her expression cheerful. The woman looked over and studied me, her lips pursed.

My cell phone, which I had jammed in my back pocket out of habit, vibrated. Here in the mountains my cell service was spotty at best—six missed calls. I felt like I had swallowed a biscuit whole.

“Livvy,” Jamie shout-whispered on my voice mail, “Where are you? I’m worried. Call me.”

“Olivia, it’s Glen. Just making sure you’re okay. The club is going to be closed for a couple days at least while they assess the damage. The fire marshal has a few questions. Call me on my cell.”

“We’re having trouble lighting the grill, chef.” It was one of the prep cooks. “We thought you could help us start the fire.” Howls of laughter in the background before the message clicked off.

 

Hannah’s perfectly French-manicured toes appeared in my line of vision. I pressed the off button and threw the phone into my bag. When I looked up, a cinnamon roll the size of a hubcap had replaced Hannah’s face. Creamy white glaze glistened on the curls of pastry.

“Here you go,” Hannah said, handing me the sticky bun. I tore off a hunk and popped it into my mouth, chewing gratefully. Hannah took a dainty bite. “Hmmmm, I haven’t had this much sugar in months.” She slipped the pastry into a waxed bag, then licked her fingers. Hannah will tell you that she counts carbs, but I know the depth of her sweet tooth. She reached into her purse, pulled out a cloth napkin and wiped her fingers, then drew her skirt around her legs and sat down next to me. “So, how long were you planning on staying?”

I eyed her sideways. “Not sure. Are you worried I’ll still be here when Jonathan comes back from the conference?” Hannah’s husband and I have agreed to disagree on just about everything. It upsets her sense of equilibrium to have us both in the same room.

“No, no. You can stay as long as you like, you know that. Besides, he isn’t due back for a few more days. No, I was just wondering if you could stay until at least Monday night.”

“Well, sure. Believe me, I’m in no hurry to get back to Boston.”

“Good. I just need to see when she’s available.” Hannah reached into her purse and pulled out the wax pastry bag. She twisted off a large chunk of roll and shoved it in her mouth.

“See when who is available?”

“The woman I was talking to in the sticky-bun line, Margaret Hurley. She’s the owner of this fantastic inn. She told me that she had to let her baker go, and I mentioned you, about your experience and the awards you’ve won, and she seemed really interested.”

“Hannah,” I said, trying to come up with the most polite way to say, There’s no way in hell. “I can’t really see myself—”

“Listen, I know it sounds like a big step, but I think you would love the place. It’s called the Sugar Maple.” I looked out over the rows of tents. Vermont. Full time. “Don’t get me wrong, you know I like visiting you and all, but . . . I’m not sure exactly what I would do here.”

“You’d do exactly what you do in Boston—bake. Only when you get off work it will be pretty, peaceful Vermont instead of loud, ugly Boston.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. Sure, I complained about living in the city all the time, but it felt like she was making fun of my little brother.

“What I mean is, what do you really have in Boston? No house, no family, no boyfriend—not really, I mean…”

“Jeez, Hann, don’t hold anything back.” I lifted my hands in surrender. At the mention of Jamie, my mind had flashed to the night before, the way he’d looked through me before I started the fire, like I was just another one of the help. “Besides—where would I live? God knows I can’t live under the same roof as your husband.”

Hannah snorted. “I’m pretty sure the position comes with housing—the last baker lived at the inn.” She glanced at me hopefully. “I’d be right down the road. We could hang out all the time. It would be like college all over again.” Hannah was referring to the one semester I had gone to state school, before dropping out to go on tour with the Dead Darlings.

I thought about my rejected debit card at the F&G. If the Emerson did indeed decide to have me “take a break,” I would be out of a job and, with all the back rent I already owed my landlord, a place to live. Salty wouldn’t be too happy about living in the station wagon. “I might consider it.”

“I’ll call her when we get back. Just go look at the place.” She beamed at me, looking satisfied, as though she had done her good deed for the day. Off the hook. “You’re gonna love it.”

 

Following Hannah’s directions, I arrived at the Sugar Maple Inn shortly before ten a.m. on Monday. It was a beautiful drive from Hannah’s house in town, up a long winding dirt road. The landscape changed from tidy painted ladies to sprawling farmhouses to abandoned trailers covered so thickly with bittersweet vine that only the rusted cars in the front yard would tell you someone once lived there. Then, as the houses dropped away altogether, leaving only the dirt road canopied with oaks and maples, I thought I must be lost. Who would want to stay at an inn so far from town? But as I reached the crest of the mountain road, the trees opened up and, as if I were passing from night into day, the world became all green grass against the bluest sky. To my left was the Sugar Maple itself, a bright yellow farmhouse with attached barn, surrounded by huge clumps of zinnias in pinks and reds, faces turned toward the sun. Morning glories, now dozing for the day, climbed up the side of the barn. Rocking chairs were lined up on the porch. The front yard was scattered with garden benches and sleeping cats. To my right was a wooden rail fence, and beyond it a ridge of mountains with the steeple-dotted valley below.

I walked up the flagstone path and hesitated at the front door, nervously picking Salty’s dog hair off my chef’s coat. Hannah had offered to lend me something, but since I am a size twelve to her six, I had politely declined. I reached for the brass maple leaf on the green door and gave a knock. Margaret swung the door open, eyed me, and then looked at her watch.

“You’re five minutes late,” she said, blocking my view.

“Are you sure?” I had checked my cell phone before I left the car. Margaret made a little huffing sound. “Well, you might as well come in.” She stepped aside slightly as I entered the foyer. I followed her slender frame, trim in a navy jacket, down the hallway. I tried to glance at the pictures that lined the walls, but she moved too quickly. Despite her pace, her silver bun stayed perfectly in place. We entered a sitting room, couches and chairs in mismatched florals arranged casually for easy conversation. Margaret led me to a small table by a window and gestured for me to sit down.

“So, Mrs. Doyle tells me you’re a baker.” Her papery hands sat neatly folded in her lap.

“Yes. My name is Olivia Rawlings. I’m the pastry chef at the Emerson Club…”

“Yes, I can read that on your coat.” I looked down at my left breast. Stupid coat.

Margaret cleared her throat. “Now, how long have you been baking?”

“For fifteen years. Since I graduated from the CIA.”

“You learned to bake from the government?” She scowled.

“No, no, it’s a culinary school in New York.”

Margaret looked out the window. “Yes, well then. Tell me, what’s your specialty?”

“My specialty?”

“What do you make best?” She said this louder and more slowly, as if she thought I was hard of hearing or from a foreign country. I thought for a moment.

“Well, Chocolate Gourmand magazine requested my recipe for a blood orange and sour cherry napoleon last year. And I was nominated for a James Beard Award for—”

“We’re a simple place, Miss Rawlings. Nothing too fancy here.” She leaned forward, hands on the table. “Can you bake a good pie?”

“Pie?” I lifted my eyebrows.

“Yes, you know, a flaky crust with filling inside.”

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. “Well, of course I can bake a pie. An excellent one.” I leaned back in my chair.

“How’s your apple?” She leaned back as well. The hands went back into her lap.

“I’ve received many compliments on my apple pie.” I felt like we were playing high-stakes poker.

“Would you be willing to bake one now?” she asked calmly.

“Right now?” I did not succeed in hiding my irritation.

“Yes. Why not? Don’t need a recipe, do you?”

“You want me to bake an apple pie right now.” Being asked to test-bake in a kitchen was a normal part of the hiring process fora chef’s position, but not on the day of the interview.

“Well, not this very second.” Margaret stood. “I have to make a few calls first. I’ll have one of the girls bring you a cup of coffee.” She walked away at her fast clip, calling out, “Sarah…”

“Don’t you want to see my résumé?” I called after her, waving the sheet of paper. She had already turned the corner and was gone.

A young woman with straight blond hair appeared with a tray. She placed in front of me a dainty teacup and saucer, filled to the brim with steaming black coffee.

“Thanks.” I glanced up at her. “Hey, is she always like this?”

Sarah looked over her shoulder. “Pretty much. But she’s decent to work for.” She shrugged. “I’ve been here for over two years. The tips are good. And the rest of the staff is more laid back.” She gave me a quick smile and walked back toward the kitchen.

This was surely the strangest interview I had ever been on. I was used to being courted, not trying to convince someone I could do the simplest of tasks. It looked like Hannah was wrong about Margaret’s interest. A wave of relief washed over me. It would be easier not to get the job than it would have been to explain to Hannah why I couldn’t move this far away from . . .everything, without hurting her feelings.

I waited for what felt like hours, making a mental list of chefs who might hire me, before abandoning my teacup and wandering around the inn in search of Mrs. Hurley. I found Sarah toward the back of the house, folding napkins in the dining room. The room was small, dressed in cream tablecloths and tarnished silver candlesticks, elegant in a Miss Havisham kind of way.

“I think I may have been abandoned,” I said lightly.

“Sorry. There was a problem with one of the guest rooms. She should be back soon.”

“Mind if I look around the kitchen?”

“Not at all. It’s through that door.”

 I pushed through a swinging door at the far side of the dining room. It opened onto a room that broke all the rules of kitchendom. It looked just like a farmhouse kitchen, with a yellow tin ceiling and wide maple plank floors, but it appeared to have been stretched and pulled like taffy to accommodate the eight-burner stove top and the walk‑in refrigerator.

I set my bag down on an enamel-topped wooden table. It was a regular kitchen table, sitting on stacks of Nancy Drew mysteries to make it a respectable height for chopping. I wondered how this place ever passed inspection. The table sat in the middle of the room, close to the cast-iron range. I crept about, grabbing tools that I would need for pie baking as I went. Even they seemed odd, like something you would find at a church sale, not in a restaurant supply catalog. The rolling pin was the heavy kind with ball bearings—the type I pictured cartoon housewives using on the heads of their husbands. The measuring cups were glass with painted pictures of roosters on them. I found a beautiful old pair of copper scissors and a set of tin measuring spoons so worn the fractions were unreadable. The pantry still served as a pantry, although the shelves were dwarfed by industrial-sized cans of baking powder and cling peaches. In there I found an old stand mixer, complete with its original bowl of iridescent glass, which I hauled out and placed on the table. The one thing I couldn’t find was flour. I kept searching, opening drawers and bins.

Next to the pantry there was a small door. I pushed it open, hoping it was another storage area, and was greeted by darkness. I waved my hand in the air, searching for a cord. My fingers touched something silky and soft as I walked deeper into the stuffy room. A tickle of fabric brushed against my skin like feathers. When my hand found the light cord, I pulled on it and blinked. From the ceiling hung ribbons. Hundreds of them, all blue, their pointed tips swaying gently. They extended the entire length of the ceiling, each one emblazoned in gold with the same words: Coventry County Fair—First Place. In a large wooden display case hung larger ribbons, the heads fat with extra loops of fabric like the petals of a sunflower. These ribbons were all blue as well, with the exception of the last three. Those ribbons were red. From somewhere in the inn I heard Margaret’s voice, followed by another, this one more cheerful. I clicked off the light and slipped out of the room, easing the door closed behind me.

Most helpful customer reviews

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
Takes you to a magical place and makes you want to stay forever
By H. Young
This book, about a pastry chef running from her mistakes until she runs smack into a place she can call home, is a confection. And I mean that in the best possible way: it's sweet with just the right hints of tartness and salt, and, like a great dessert, it leaves you wanting more.

Livvy is living and working in Boston with nothing but her abandonment issues and a married boyfriend to keep her warm at night until she accidentally torches the posh club where she works with an errant baked Alaska. As she always does when the going gets tough, she runs -- this time, to her best friend Hannah's home in Guthrie, a pastorally perfect Vermont town. One thing leads to another, and soon this big-city baker finds herself making desserts at the quaint Sugar Maple B&B, whose crotchety owner, Margaret, is hell-bent on reclaiming the blue ribbon at the annual apple pie contest that her archenemy wrested from her the year before. Livvy also begins to connect with a neighboring couple and with their prodigal son Martin, who's come home to say goodbye to his dying father but, like Livvy herself, won't make any promises to anyone beyond that. Over the course of a year Livvy learns to open up and put down roots for the first time in her life, and her journey is never anything less than believable. I loved all the characters, especially prickly, funny, warmhearted Livvy, and the ending packed a few surprises yet also felt truly earned, a tricky combination to nail.

Louise Miller renders the Vermont landscape in all seasons beautifully, and between its shimmering descriptions of Guthrie's humble barns and fields and of Livvy's mouthwatering desserts, the book reads like a New England version of A Year in Provence -- it takes you somewhere magical and makes you wish you could stay there forever. This is a delightful read!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
This Book Has Tattooed My Heart
By Catherine Elcik
When I finished The City Baker's Guide to Country Living, I snapped the cover shut, hugged the book to my chest, and let the warmth inspired by watching Lizzie compile the mise en place of her life spread through me. The fact that said mise en place included pie, bluegrass music, an idyllic Vermont setting, a crazy galoot of a dog, love, and longing for the embrace of a community means this book nourished that soft spot in my heart that's in danger of starving in this ironic hipster age we're suffering through.

If you and that beautiful soul of yours have ever hungered for the embrace of a community who sees you for who you are and loves you anyway, The City Baker's Guide to Country Living is the warm hug you've been waiting for.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Three +
By MissMommy
To say I was surprised by this novel would be an understatement. It is well-crafted, interesting and fun. I could easily envision each of the characters and drooled over the baking descriptions. There was just enough cooking to keep one interested, without the tedium to which some authors resort.
This is not a literary masterpiece, but it is a nice escapist reading. The plot and structure flow well and keep the reader turning pages. I had a bit of a problem with her best friend seemingly disappearing from the end of the story, but otherwise enjoyable.

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