Selasa, 29 Juli 2014

[L649.Ebook] Free Ebook The Informed Parent: A Science-Based Resource for Your Child's First Four Years, by Tara Haelle, Emily Willingham Ph.D.

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The Informed Parent: A Science-Based Resource for Your Child's First Four Years, by Tara Haelle, Emily Willingham Ph.D.



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The Informed Parent: A Science-Based Resource for Your Child's First Four Years, by Tara Haelle, Emily Willingham Ph.D.

The latest scientific research on home birth, breastfeeding, sleep training, vaccines, and other key topics—to help parents make their own best-informed decisions.

In the era of questionable Internet "facts" and parental oversharing, it's more important than ever to find credible information on everything from prenatal vitamins to screen time. The good news is that parents and parents-to-be no longer need to rely on an opinionated mother-in-law about whether it’s OK to eat sushi in your third trimester, an old college roommate for sleep-training “rules,” or an online parenting group about how long you should breastfeed (there’s a vehement group for every opinion). Credible scientific studies are out there – and they’re “bottom-lined” in this book.

The ultimate resource for today’s science-minded generation, The Informed Parent was written for readers who prefer facts to “friendly advice,” and who prefer to make up their own minds, based on the latest findings as well as their own personal preferences. Science writers and parents themselves, authors Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham have sifted through thousands of research studies on dozens of essential topics, and distill them in this essential and engaging book. Topics include:

Home birth * Labor induction * Vaginal birth vs. Cesarean birth * Circumcision * Postpartum depression * Breastfeeding * Vaccines * Sleep training * Pacifiers * SIDS * Bed-sharing * Potty training * Childhood obesity * Food sensitivities and allergies * BPA and plastics * GMOs vs. organic foods * The hygiene hypothesis * Spanking * Daycare vs. other childcare options

Full reference information for all citations in the book is available online at http://theinformedparentbook.com/book-references/

  • Sales Rank: #36261 in Books
  • Published on: 2016-04-05
  • Released on: 2016-04-05
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.01" h x .81" w x 5.95" l, 1.00 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 336 pages

Review
"Clear, comprehensive, and resolutely evidence-based, The Informed Parent is a fabulous resource for science-minded parents. Haelle and Willingham have tirelessly compiled the evidence on so many questions that cause parents to worry and wonder, and with all of this science at their fingertips, they'll be able to make confident and informed choices for their families. From pre-conception to preschool, you'll find yourself returning to this book again and again."
--Alice Callahan, PhD, author of The Science of Mom: A Research-Based Guide to Your Baby's First Year 
 
"The Informed Parent is a beacon of science-based sanity for new parents caught in a blizzard of dubious child rearing advice. Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham are sure-handed guides, distilling the most up-to-date, reliable research into sensible advice that neither patronizes nor terrorizes. Circumcision? Television? Nipple confusion? Relax, Tara and Emily have got you covered."
--Dan Fagin, Director of the Science, Health and Environmental Reporting Program at NYU, and Pulitzer Prize–winning author of Toms River: A Story of Science and Salvation 
 
“In The Informed Parent, Emily Willingham and Tara Haelle, two widely respected science writers (and parents), explore key questions about child health, beginning with fetal development and continuing into toddlerhood. The result is engaging, conversational, deeply researched, and smart, a book that should be considered a necessary resource for all 21st century parents.”
--Deborah Blum, Director of the Knight Science Journalism Program, MIT, and Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Love at Goon Park: Harry Harlow and the Science of Affection

"Finally! An amazing, informed, evidence-based tour through the most common questions and concerns of parenthood that I can recommend without hesitation. A must for any science minded new parent, or for anyone who thinks Google doesn’t replace expertly curated information."
--Yoni Freedhoff, MD, Assistant Professor, Family Medicine, University of Ottawa and creator of the Weighty Matters blog

"Parents in the internet age have to navigate their way through a maze of confusing information and misinformation. Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham are the perfect guides to what's fact and fiction when it comes to the science of parenting."
--Seth Mnookin, Associate Director of MIT’s Graduate Program in Science Writing, and author of The Panic Virus

"Science-based. Judgment free. A perfect guide for evidence-based parenting!"
--Ari Brown, MD, pediatrician and author of Baby 411 book series

"In The Informed Parent, journalists Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham manage to answer everything a parent could possibly be worried about during pregnancy, birth, infancy, and toddlerhood. What makes this book different from every other book on this subject (and there are many) is that the authors take on not only the science of what concerns us, but encourage us to think along with them—giving us the tools to answer other questions in the future. It was like reading the answer sheet before the test."
--Paul Offit, MD, Chief of the Division of Infectious Diseases, Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
 
"With The Informed Parent, Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham have gifted today’s neurotic parents with fuel - and ultimately antidote - for their obsessive researching. Unlike most parenting books, the authors never preach, condone or praise. Instead, they report the science on all possible parenting controversies in a lay-friendly (and often pithy) style, allowing the reader to come to her/his own conclusions. Well-written, impeccably researched, and brilliantly suited for millennial parents, The Informed Parent should be on the top of everyone’s baby shower list."
--Suzanne Barston, the "Fearless Formula Feeder" and author of Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn't
 
“Is it confirmation bias to say that anyone who decides to look at scientific facts instead of hectoring parents is doing the world a service? If so, consider my opinion biased: This book will help a lot of folks!”
--Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book, blog and movement Free-Range Kids

"As a mom, I can confidently say that The Informed Parent will be a lifesaver for all moms and dads going through the anxiety and excitement of raising a young child. From autism to organic food, the authors demystify modern parents’ most prevalent fears for the first four years, and effectively arm them with a critical thinking cap for years to come. If you’re tired of the mommy (and daddy) wars, or simply need help separating the credible wheat from the misinformation chaff on the internet, look no further."
          --Kavin Senapathy, science advocate and author of The Fear Babe
“Accessible and informative…For anyone headed into parenthood, this is a must-read, as it answers so many questions new parents are bound to ask.”
--Kirkus Reviews

"The book shines with clear explanations of the reasoning behind common hospital practices such as labor induction, vitamin K shots, and taking Apgar scores, including up-to-date summaries of the sometimes overwhelming-data surrounding giving birth and infant care choices. Subjects of controversy, such as allergies and sleep training, receive in-depth, scientifically minded treatment."
--Publishers Weekly 

About the Author
Tara Haelle writes about parenting and science for Slate, NPR, Forbes, and Scientific American. Emily Willingham, Ph.D., is a Forbes contributor who writes frequently about parenting and scientific controversies.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Introduction

Based on persistent headlines about the “mommy wars,” you could conclude that a visit to your local playground or a mom’s group outing might require decking yourself out head to toe in Kevlar. But the reality on the ground is different. There is no war, and we’d like to see that metaphor retired entirely for anything but, well, war.
 
There is, however, a whole lot of bias and judgment. All the time, every second, judging is the background noise of our social interactions. In the parenting arena, that judgment feels—and is—very, very personal. Of all the judgy noise around us, parenting criticism comes through loudly and clearly, a painful signal that elicits defensiveness and anger. Passing judgment on another parent, especially when that judgment is grounded in a “philosophy” of some kind, is a rude and nosy and even hostile thing to do. It’s one reason that some of us rarely do it in our face‑to‑face interactions. But that doesn’t mean we’re not thinking it. And a lot of the time, what we are thinking or another parent is thinking has little to do with what the latest research says.
 
Of course, it’s not a war. It’s human . . . humans raising other humans. Not one thing we do nor one philosophy we follow will guarantee the outcome we intend. We don’t even need science, for once, to tell us that.
 
But science is useful, because the practice of science produces data instead of anecdote—data we can use for evidence-based decision-making as parents. In this book, we look at what science has to say at the various crossroads parents encounter, from vaccines to attachment parenting to circumcision to screen time. We don’t dole out a lot of advice—after all, we don’t know you or your family and can’t say which route would be best for you and your child. But we give you the scientific information you need to map your own path. And here and there, we divulge what we ended up doing, which may not have been terribly scientific at the time.
 
We take on questions like: Should we circumcise our son? Is any sleep-training approach okay? Should I buy conventional or organic food? Is formula all right, because breastfeeding is just not for me? Is home birth ever a safe option? Does too much screen time harm children, and what is “too much” anyway? This book gives you the tools you need to decide, not within the framework of a parenting philosophy but within the framework of interpreting science for your family’s unique situation.
 
Perhaps the most important of these tools is understanding how to decipher the evidence. We don’t tell you what to do, because how you use the evidence depends on your specific circumstances. We work hard to limit or expose bias—yours, ours, theirs. As humans, we commonly overlook gaps in logic and ignore evidence that counters our existing beliefs and expectations. No one, including scientists, is immune to the mistakes in interpretation that all of us make when assessing evidence. As we dig into data, we note the traps to watch out for as you weigh research findings in the context of your personal needs.
 
Mistaking correlation for causation is one of the most common cognitive errors because the human mind seeks patterns and sees relationships in coincidence. That tendency is useful when your friend goes missing at the same time a lion is sighted near your village, and you then are on alert for lions. But it can mislead when the apparent associations are more subtle. Just because organic food purchases have increased at a similar rate as autism diagnoses over the past decade, for example, doesn’t mean they’re related.
 
Another common thinking trap is confirmation bias, which leads us toward information confirming what we already think and turns us away from what contradicts our beliefs. Countering this bias requires playing devil’s advocate with yourself and fighting your natural defensive reaction when evidence goes against a deeply held belief. Be on the lookout: confirmation bias might take hold as you read this book, often taking the form of cherry-picking data that conforms to what you believe. Even if you acknowledge the data, you might be inclined to diminish its relevance or ignore a larger consensus of data. We try to help by representing the entire cherry tree, if you will, in each chapter. We also focus on evidence from research, not anecdotes (even though we share a few from our own lives). As a common saying goes, the plural of “anecdote” is not data.
 
Some kinds of research carry greater weight than others. The gold standard is the randomized controlled trial, in which neither researchers nor patients know who’s receiving what intervention. This study design is intended to erase many of the problems of bias. Other kinds of clinical research include retrospective studies, taking a look back at already collected data and seeing what patterns emerge. But because these investigations weren’t controlled or planned ahead of time, the evidence they yield will be subject to caveats. And then some scientific publications aren’t based on original work at all but instead synthesize existing findings in a subject area. These systematic reviews and meta-analyses are great for getting a perspective of the state of the science, but because the authors select what to search for and include, they can be subject to bias too. The best ones give an assessment of the bias in the studies they evaluate and rate the evidence on a standardized scale. For this reason, we frequently describe the types of studies we’re discussing.
 
Finally, accept the fact that you (and we) probably are overestimating how much you (and we) know and understand. No matter how nice and unassuming you might be or how supersmart you are, you and the rest of us are all subject to superiority bias, known as the Dunning–Kruger effect. In short, it’s our tendency to overrate ourselves while underrating others. Remember how we find ourselves making comparisons to the Joneses and judging each other’s parenting styles, our own most favorably? We’re Dunning–Kruger-ing all over the place when we do that. If most of us are average parents, then most of us are not superior to other parents. What most of us are, though, is hoping to be the best parent we can be in the only situation that matters: for our children. You’re the only parent you need to worry about, and we want this book to help you be the best evidence-based parent you can be.
 
 
We hope this book will save you from the danger of Dunning–Kruger, but we also hope it helps you navigate some of the knottiest parenting questions we face today. Our goal is to place the strongest evidence in front of you, explained in a way you can understand, so that you can accurately decide what’s best for you and your family.
 
A Note on Terminology
 
We are aware of the developmental distinctions between the embryo and the fetus. In some cases, we use both terms when both stages are relevant, but in others, for brevity and to avoid repetition, we default to “fetus” or “fetal.” The word “data” is treated as a plural noun because it represents two or more pieces of information from a study. The term “birth defect” carries obvious negative onnotations, and we have sought to diminish the possibility of adding stigma by instead using the term “congenital anomaly.”

Most helpful customer reviews

85 of 89 people found the following review helpful.
Dispelling myths about pregnancy and raising a child
By Michael the Skeptic
Note: I received a pre-release copy of this book, on which this review is based. It is possible that there have been some editorial or other changes in the released version.

There are innumerable myths and tropes about raising children. My mother used to tell me to not go into the pool until 30 minutes (or some random number) after I ate; and she always told me I'd catch the flu or a cold if I didn't put on a jacket during winter. Of course, neither are science based, and neither are "facts."

But those were innocuous little myths. I don't like being all that cold, so putting on a coat isn't the worst thing ever.

Unfortunately, some myths about parenting and raising children are dangerous. The whole "vaccines cause XYZ" myths that have infected the internet have caused some drops in vaccination, especially amongst those who should know better. And this is where this book becomes a valuable tool for "science based parenting."

Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham are notable science authors who have focused on topics that are important today. Dr. Willingham has written extensively about autism, I don't think I'm exaggerating to say that she is one of the top science journalist with respect to autism and autism related issues. Ms. Haelle writes extensively about parenting issues, from vaccinations to breast feeding.

Both use extensive citations and scientific knowledge in their writing. What they write often represents the best thinking in a field. Not that I advocate for the Argument from Authority, but when an authority uses real scientific evidence, the authority becomes the expert.

The Informed Parent continues their writing tradition. Yes, the book is "science-y." But it is my opinion that science should not be scary. It should do what it's supposed to do, answer questions through a logical manner about our natural universe. Or how we raise our children.

Haelle and Willingham jump right into the fray with their first chapter, basically on what a mother needs to do for her developing fetus. For example, Vitamin D is all the rage in the supplement world. But, generally there isn't an issue with vitamin D levels in the developed world. And, high quality medical research has shown us that vitamin D supplementation has no effect on maternal or newborn outcomes.

I could spend two hours writing about every topic they covered, but it is literally from A to Z on the list of issues. I think you could read this book cover to cover and use it as a resource, or just use it as a well sourced and written encyclopedia of issues regarding pregnancy, birth and raising the child.

As a vaccine advocate, my favorite part of the book is all about vaccines. They look at schedules, rumors, history, myths, science, and just about any consideration one might have about vaccines. They do it in a Q&A format partially, so you can read, without all of the yelling and screaming on the internet, the scientific facts about vaccines.

This is one of the best books about parenting. I remember my wife reading the semi-official manual of pregnancy, "What to Expect when you're Expecting." If this book were available back then, I would have given her this one too. Because we had a short, but intense, set of arguments regarding vaccinating our daughters, and I lacked a lot of information that I have now, especially from a book like this one. Yeah, our daughters are fully vaccinated.

I generally don't review books, because I usually read them months after they came out, and no one wants to read a six month old review. But in this case, I was excited about this book. I'm glad I got to read it. And if you're expecting or have an infant, get this book. It can help you relax and do the right things.

67 of 71 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for first time parents, a great "continuing education" for seasoned parents
By GennaH
When you are the mother of a large family, it's easy to be skeptical about how much you are going to learn from any new book about babies. This book is, beyond a doubt, an exception to that rule. Ms. Haelle and Dr. Willingham do a phenomenal job covering a breadth of topics that is nearly overwhelming. From drinking in pregnancy to home birth and beyond, the authors take the most important points present in the literature and make them accessible to the savvy parent who wants more information than is often given.

If there was one improvement I would have suggested, I feel that the authors could have encouraged greater wariness regarding home birth. As someone whose home birth midwife committed negligence, I wish that more detail had been given in terms of properly vetting care providers. However it is one area of disagreement in an otherwise excellent book.

47 of 50 people found the following review helpful.
Evidence based parenting
By Nicole Hubbell
If you want to make informed parenting decisions based on what the scientific evidence says, this is the book for you!
This will be my go-to book recommendation for new parents from now on. It doesn't get any better than evidence based!

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Senin, 21 Juli 2014

[R298.Ebook] Free Ebook The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, by Patrick Carnes Ph.D.

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The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, by Patrick Carnes Ph.D.



The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, by Patrick Carnes  Ph.D.

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The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships, by Patrick Carnes  Ph.D.

Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds--chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power.

In The Betrayal Bond Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships.

This is a book you will turn to again and again for inspiration and insight, while professionals will find it an invaluable reference work.

  • Sales Rank: #18473 in Books
  • Published on: 1997-11-01
  • Released on: 1997-11-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.51" h x .65" w x 5.51" l, .65 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 250 pages

About the Author

Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., is an internationally known authority on addiction and recovery issues. He has authored more than twenty books including the bestselling titles Out of the Shadows: Understanding Addiction Recovery, Betrayal Bond, Don't Call It Love, and the first edition of The Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps. Dr. Carnes' research provides the architecture for the 'task model' of treating addictions that is used by thousands of therapists worldwide and many well-known treatment centers, residential facilities, and hospitals. He is the executive director of the Gentle Path Program, which specializes in dedicated treatment for sexual addiction. For more information on his work and contributions, log onto patrickcarnes.com and sexhelp.com. You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter: @drpatrickcarnes.
 

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
from Chapter 1

After a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert, as if the danger might return at any moment.
—Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery

Lois was only twenty-two. Fresh out of college with a business degree in hand, she had landed a fabulous job with a large printing firm. She was ecstatic. She worked hard. The company gave her a car. She was attractive and fun. Her hard work and enthusiasm made up for her inexperience. Plus, she had support. Her boss, the marketing director, was also young by many people+s standards. Nearing thirty, she already had eight years of business experience. The company had grown dramatically and many chalked it up to her skill and untiring efforts. She took Lois under her wing and they became good colleagues and friends.

One day the marketing director left the office in tears. A memo came around saying she had resigned. Lois tried to reach her at home but there was no response to the messages she left. The president of the company asked Lois to come to his office. He talked of his sadness that the marketing director was no longer with the company. He also said that he now had a problem; he had no one to run marketing. He offered Lois the job.

Lois immediately accepted. She had mixed emotions because of the loss of her supervisor and because little was known about why she left, just the tears. Yet Lois knew this was a tremendous opportunity for her. The president told her that he had taken a chance on her previous supervisor being so young and it worked out well. Lois received a bonus and a significant raise. She threw herself into her work.

A week later the president asked Lois to his office to review her first week+s efforts. Lois could tell he was not totally pleased with what she had done but was unsure what he wanted. Then he launched into a description of what made her predecessor successful. Critical were her former bossÆs ôspecialö relationships with customers. In fact, for the buying agents of their key accounts she would perform oral sex. ThatÆs how the company kept business. As he talked, Lois went numb with disbelief. She came out of it when he said that their customers liked office sex in certain ways and he would show her how. Then he approached her. Lois stood up and told him that she would not do this for any price. She grabbed her personal belongings and left the company in tears.

She was devastated. Friends and family gathered around Lois. They found her a therapist. The therapist said that she had experienced an assault and would need to work it through or her life would suffer. Lois pulled herself together and responded by saying that it was only a proposition and she would simply forget about it.

The therapist was right. About a month after leaving her job, Lois started having nightmares about the company president and his office. She had difficulty motivating herself to find work. Interviews went badly. She moved back in with her parents, which added even more stress. She shut down sexually. She was critical of her boyfriend who, in fact, was very supportive. That relationship ended. She found herself continually angry with her former supervisor. She berated herself for being naive enough to think that the companyÆs success had anything to do with marketing. She was angry with her former employer yet obsessed with what was happening in the company. The betrayal for Lois was that nothing was as it had seemed. None of her ability, hard work, enthusiasm or creativity mattered. She had believed that people had taken her seriously. In reality management had been grooming her to be the company courtesan. How could she ever trust anyone again?

Lois was also a victim of her own ability to cope. At the time of the betrayal, she felt that it was something she could handle. Calling on ancient family traditions of facing adversity, toughing it out and forging ahead, she dismissed the significance of what had happened. Only in therapy did she start to understand that she had been victimized and admit that it was traumatic for her. Like many of us, Lois learned that she looked right at it and did not see it.

Stress becomes traumatic when danger, risk, fear or anxiety is present. For Lois, she lost in a matter of minutes all that she thought she had. Further, the insidious fear was planted that the only way she could be successful was by using her body. Her talent for business didnÆt matter. Plus, the unwanted advance of someone who had so much power over her well-being placed her in jeopardy. Yet Lois had defenses that helped her cope with the problem. She tended to normalize and minimize. Her body, however, knew.

When in jeopardy, our body mobilizes its defenses. All our physical systems achieve high states of readiness. Adrenaline flows. The electrochemical reactions between synapses in the brain accelerate. ItÆs just like an automobile driven at the maximum possible speed. The sustained, flat-out performance pushes the carÆs mechanical system past its limits. Pretty soon, things start to break down. Our bodies and minds will react the same way. When pushed past their limits, they begin to fall apart. Unlike a car, however, our bodies and minds can regenerate and recover. Some traumas that occur as a result of betrayal create damage that is residual. That is, we do not see it or understand it until later. Some traumas, especially over time, can alter how our systems operate.

Two factors are essential in understanding traumatic experiences: how far our systems are stretched and for how long. Figure 1.1 helps us understand how these two factors interact. Some events happen only once or just a few times, but the impact is so great that trauma occurs. The experience Lois had with the president of the company only lasted a few minutes, but the impact was significant and enduring. Rape, accident, assault and some types of child molestation fit this extreme form of trauma. So would being terminated without warning from a job after years of loyal service and excellent performance.

Some trauma experiences are relatively minor, but they happen every day. The hurt accumulates. Many acts of child neglect, for example, in themselves are not that serious. Every parent has moments of not being able to cover all the bases. A consistent pattern of neglect, however, creates incredible anxiety in a child and leaves serious lifelong wounds. Other examples include living in a toxic marriage or working in a toxic corporation. Little acts of degradation, manipulation, secrecy and shame on a daily basis take their toll. Trauma by accumulation sneaks up on its victims.

The compromises we make to trauma can deaden us over time. As one man described his recovery from a traumatizing marriage: ôIt was a full year after we split when I realized that my back felt different. It was relaxed and I could bend without effort. I had spent so many years braced for the next outburst, my back muscles were always tensed up. I never realized that while I was married.ö ItÆs like walking into a room with a bad smell. The longer you stay in the room, the more the smell will seem to dissipate. Your olfactory system actually adjusts to the offensive odor. ItÆs only by leaving the room that you will recover your sensitivity to the odor. ItÆs the same with high stress, danger or anxiety; your body and mind will adjust—and pay for it. Only after being away from traumatic circumstances will your sensitivity return.

Betrayals that cause horrendous and long-lasting traumas are the worst. Such was the Holocaust, or Vietnam, or Russia after StalinÆs purge followed by the Nazi invasion. These emotional scars can be so severe that generations descended from those surviving will react in ways that still reflect the original trauma. No amount of what appears to be normal makes it safe. Patterns and attitudes evolve far beyond the individual and are incorporated into the fabric of family and society.

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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Very insightful...changed my wife's life
By Largid
My wife's ex husband was extraordinarily abusive, verbally, sexually, and at times, physically. He betrayed her with other women for the entire 30 years of their marriage, lying and manipulating her, and hurting their kids. Yet, after he divorced her, she clung to the hope that he would wake up and finally become the man he never was and come back to her. We met, fell in love, and married, yet the pain of that betrayal stayed with her even after our 10 years together, and when she was around him at family events, she was fearful, nervous, and felt as though she had no control. Worse, he would try to get her to reconnect with her to try to get her to cheat with hem, but unsuccessfully. But it was unnerving, and she was afraid to force him to stop. Finally, she went to a trauma therapist, who had her read this book, and this book, along with the therapy changed her life. Trauma forms a strong bond, even though it's a negative bond, and you can break that bond....and she has. She now has good boundaries with him, keeps him away from her, and when at family events where he is, she is relaxed and fearless, and she won't allow him to come around her or even talk to her. It is a huge change inside her...that trauma bond is broken. It has changed her life...she is now opening up like a flower. It's wonderful to see us now enjoying life so much more and her wanting to do things she would not have...to be a bit adventuresome, and I smile since she is over 60, and yet, it's as if the happy, carefree person she was once, before she married her ex, is coming back. Yes, you can leave that abusive person behind.....read the book and find a therapist familiar with the book who has specialized training in betrayal bonding....you won't regret it.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
I understand 40 years of betrayal bond now!
By Amazon Customer
I have been emotionally abused for 40 years, but didn't realize it until I started reading about verbal and emotional abuse. Two years ago, my husband of 38 years told me he had been having affairs for 20 years with two women we knew well. I fell apart. Because of the emotional abuse it took me a long time to begin to recover myself. This book is one of many that helped me get back to being a whole person. It has finally helped me see my part in maintaining a horribly broken relationship and what I need to do to break free from the cycle we were in and stand up to him and his family. Other books that I recommend are by Leslie Vernick and Lundy Bancroft. The other recovery exercise book that helped is "should I stay or should I go" (Patrissi/Bancroft). God is going to be victorious in me. These books have helped me get to a place where I finally could say to my husband that he needs help and will have to get it if we are going to work out; and I can now let go if he doesn't get that help.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
A true eye opener from someone who has read practically every book available on trauma and abuse.
By NYC GIRL
My therapist recommended this book to me a few months ago. I have grown up with abuse and trauma my whole life and witnessed things that many could never possible imagine. I ended up in several bad and dangerous relationships throughout my life and I could never understand why. Well I knew my past abuse and trauma was a part of it but why I attracted and stayed in the relationships whether it was with friends or romantic I could not figure out. Dr. Carnes did an amazing job writing it and left out all the medical terms and wrote in a way that anyone could understand and relate to. It doesn't matter if your problem was abuse, gambling, or even sex addiction this book applies to all walks of lives and does not just concentrate on one area. Definitely a huge eye opener for me. I have not fully finished the book and I am a fast reader but because of the work it involves and it can be triggering at times I am reading it at a much slower pace. I would definitely recommend this book to all who have experienced trauma or betrayal or if you have loved ones that have. Great read and book.

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Minggu, 20 Juli 2014

[N313.Ebook] PDF Ebook Zen & The Transversality of Pureness (Zen Supremacy) (Volume 4), by Daniel Marques

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Zen & The Transversality of Pureness (Zen Supremacy) (Volume 4), by Daniel Marques

This book is part of a Series entitled “Zen Supremacy” which includes the following topics: The Spiritual Identity; The Acknowledgement of God; The Perception of Happiness; The Transversality of Pureness; The Achievement of Immortality. This Series promotes a study of these subjects in their relation to Zen Philosophy and the content is supported by more than 20 years practicing Zen meditation and its application to modern life, as well as studying the different perspectives described and applied by Buddhism and its branches in India, Tibet, Japan and China. It is in this last country that, by experiencing the life and habits of the monks inside one of their own Temples, the acknowledgement of all the previous studies with different followers of Buddhism starts making its connection in an approach going beyond them. More precisely, it is when observing the difficulties that even those monks have in understanding and explaining the meaning of Zen and its application to life that the need for this book started making sense. Zen is a path, not an end, and even though many followers of Buddhism may have a certain acknowledgment allowing some light into the subject, it is difficult to find a person that can clearly describe it to others beyond his personal experience. Many would say that Zen is a lonely path that cannot be described but only achieved through the development of the conscience and, even though this may be true, the ones that feel difficulties in their spiritual journey still need some guidance so that they may continue on their own. It’s for this reason that millions of spiritual followers seek for Teachers or Books that can help them and it’s for this same reason that the Author has found himself many times explaining to students of Zen Buddhism what their Books and Teachers couldn’t. Nevertheless, because the author has spent all his life, since a very early age, studying different religious believes from all over the world, this book doesn’t wish to promote Zen philosophy in particular or Buddhism is general, but instead allow a better understanding on how the practice of Zen can help anyone in daily life, including in the understanding of different spiritual philosophies and religions. This is a book out of the box, combining the interpretation of Zen with many others, so that the reader may break free from the attachments of false teachings, confusion and delusional theories; and, doesn’t wish to represent any Buddhist Philosophy in particular, although may actually help interpreting any of them. This, and the other books of the same Series must be read, above all, as a spiritual perspective with a multitude of applications, understandings and combinations, because Zen is not a dogma but a life-style promoting all life. Zen is a never-ending cycle of spiritual transformation towards enlightenment.

  • Published on: 2013-01-07
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.00" h x .12" w x 6.00" l, .19 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 52 pages

About the Author
Daniel Marques is a Bestselling Author, Polymath and Researcher.

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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Truth
By emilio
I understand your reading are they short cause the obtuse society? I will continue to read but how do I contact you time is near

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Rabu, 16 Juli 2014

[F534.Ebook] Fee Download The Secret Of The Rosary, by St. Louis De Monfort, Mary Barbour

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Probably the finest book ever written about the Rosary; appeals to all ages. Shows the great spiritual power of the Rosary, which is appreciated by few. Tells why the Rosary is the most important private prayer. Canon William says of De Montfort's book, "It goes far beyond mere research. We might say that it contains everything that can be said about the Rosary–its content and form, its real worth, about the instruction necessary for its appreciation and use." Over 5,300,000 sold! Impr. 126 pgs, PB (additional shipping for bulk orders will apply.) Please call for quantity discounts– 800-437-5876.

  • Sales Rank: #19377 in Books
  • Brand: TAN Books
  • Published on: 1993-08-01
  • Released on: 1993-08-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 7.00" h x .40" w x 4.25" l, .14 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 150 pages
Features
  • Great product!

About the Author
The author of The Secret of the Rosary and the originator of total consecration to Mary, St. Louis-Marie Grignion De Montfort (1673-1716) remains one of the greatest apostles of Marian devotion the world has ever known. As a young priest, De Montfort dedicated himself to preaching to the people. This highly gifted orator's language was simple but full of divine love, much as you will find in True Devotion to Mary. De Montfort's whole life was marked by constant prayer, love for the poor and holy joy in humiliations and persecutions. De Montfort was canonized by Pius XII in 1947.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
In a simple way....deepens our devotion
By Amazon Customer
St. Louis Maria Grignon de Monfort excells in teaching us the secrets of the rosary, in a way nobody else will. With a profound love for the Blessed Mother, he uncovers the real meaning of this devotion. It becomes a need to pray it daily under his guidance. A must read book.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Krystal Sykes
Must have book for any Catholic and I recommend for anyone interested in learning to pray the rosary.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Interesting, Sort Of
By Amazon Customer
This book is interesting, but not as good as I had hoped, so I gave it to the priest at my church.

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Selasa, 15 Juli 2014

[C525.Ebook] Download PDF How to Design and Build Your Own House, by Lupe DiDonno, Phyllis Sperling

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-- How to choose and specify those parts of the house (windows, doors, furnace, hardware) that can be purchased prefabricated and ready to install
-- How to estimate costs of everything specified
-- How to incorporate the latest energy-conserving materials and equipment
-- Step-by-step directions on how to build the house section by section, from excavation and foundations to floors, walls, and roof; fireplaces, chimneys, and stairs; plumbing, heating, and electricity; wood shingles, gutters, and waterproofing; how to lay brick and principles of brick construction...everything!

Practical information is provided on purchasing materials and tools. And, throughout the book (exactly where needed) are pertinent instructions on basic techniques such as how to mix and work concrete, build forms, lay block, toe-in a nail, install a lockset, cut gypsum board and tile. Tables are included for calculating heat loss, loads, distances between structural elements, and so on. And the 748 line drawings illustrate every aspect of design and construction.

With its clarity and authority -- and its extraordinary wealth of specific, detailed instruction -- this is the single most comprehensive and useful book ever published on how to design and build your own house.

  • Sales Rank: #51270 in Books
  • Published on: 1987-10-12
  • Released on: 1987-10-12
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.20" h x 1.00" w x 10.78" l, 2.07 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 384 pages

From the Inside Flap
This book guides you systematically through the whole process of designing and building your own house. It offers practical assistance from the moment you begin thinking about the kind of house you want. It helps you focus your ideas and translate them into working plans. It shows you how to estimate costs. Then, step by step, it shows you how to construct the house -- explaining and illustrating every step systematically so that you can proceed confidently from beginning to end.

Here are complete, clear instructions on everything you need to know, including:
-- How to decide what you want the house to be like -- inside and outside, and in relation to the environment and neighborhood
-- How to translate your ideas and decisions into working drawings
-- How to deal with all the components of a house: structural (roof, floor, walls, columns, foundations), mechanical (plumbing and heating), electrical, interior and exterior finishing materials
-- How to establish the exact dimensions of everything, how to decide and specify where components go (from windows, heating ducts, and electrical outlets to toilets and showers)
-- How to choose and specify those parts of the house (windows, doors, furnace, hardware) that can be purchased prefabricated and ready to install
-- How to estimate costs of everything specified
-- How to incorporate the latest energy-conserving materials and equipment
-- Step-by-step directions on how to build the house section by section, from excavation and foundations to floors, walls, and roof; fireplaces, chimneys, and stairs; plumbing, heating, and electricity; wood shingles, gutters, and waterproofing; how to lay brick and principles of brick construction...everything!

Practical information is provided on purchasing materials and tools. And, throughout the book (exactly where needed) are pertinent instructions on basic techniques such as how to mix and work concrete, build forms, lay block, toe-in a nail, install a lockset, cut gypsum board and tile. Tables are included for calculating heat loss, loads, distances between structural elements, and so on. And the 748 line drawings illustrate every aspect of design and construction.

With its clarity and authority -- and its extraordinary wealth of specific, detailed instruction -- this is the single most comprehensive and useful book ever published on how to design and build your own house.

About the Author
Lupe DiDonno and Phyllis Sperling are both distinguished young architects, both graduates of Pratt Institute's School of Architecture. They have had work exhibited in the "Women in American Architecture" show at the Brooklyn Museum. They are members of the American Institute of Architects and are practicing architects in New York City. Sperling and DiDonno are also the authors of How to Redesign & Renovate Your House or Apartment.

Most helpful customer reviews

43 of 45 people found the following review helpful.
Broadest coverage, patiently explained
By misterbeets
It's not easy to cover such a huge subject, but these two architects do a remarkable job. The illustrator gets equal billing, and it's well-deserved, as the drawings alone are worth the price of the book. The best part is on design. I've never seen a book that allowed you to figure loads and size columns, or provided a worksheet to calculate heating requirements. The final section on construction is more of an overview but the important issues are always addressed. You'll need to supplement your reading, especially since newer technologies--housewrap, truss roofs, engineered lumber--are not covered, but everything in this book is useful.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Good Starter Book
By M. Smith
As a person who is looking to build their own house the book provided a good start. It gave a great overview of how to design living area and incorporate ideas to the plan. As others have pointed out it is not current to todays innovations, however, it is a great start. I would use other construction type books to supplement the education received via this book. It also contains many formulas for calculating loads and other calcs for construction. I wish it covered more regarding slabs other than the crawl space one used in the example house that was being designed. It did go into detail about some of the more overlooked things in building a house - ie: stair and fireplace design. Overall, I don't think it would be for an experienced builder, however, it gives someone like me who does not know much about overall design and homebuilding a great start.

26 of 36 people found the following review helpful.
out of date
By James D Cross
Many of the concepts are timeless but the edition I received was 15 years old and much of the technology and materials in house building have changed.

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Jumat, 11 Juli 2014

[S439.Ebook] Download PDF Titanic Voices: Memories from the Fateful Voyage, by Alastair Forsyth

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Titanic Voices: Memories from the Fateful Voyage, by Alastair Forsyth

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Titanic Voices: Memories from the Fateful Voyage, by Alastair Forsyth

Including previously unpublished interviews with and letters written by survivors, along with forty-two color photographs, a book of memorabilia about the Titanic disaster presents the firsthand accounts of witnesses."

  • Sales Rank: #2462840 in Books
  • Published on: 1997-06
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: .93" h x 8.58" w x 11.98" l,
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 296 pages

From Library Journal
This work was written for the Southampton (England) City Council to document the sinking of the Titanic and the effect of the disaster on the town of Southampton, the vessel's home port. An astounding 550 of the 898 crew members listed their address in the town of Southampton, and only 212 survived the sinking. The entire community helped prepare the ship for its maiden voyage. The work features numerous photographs, letters, and personal stories from survivors, many previously unpublished, some reprinted from long out-of-print sources. Throughout, the editors, both local historians, let the survivors tell their own stories and then tie them together with short commentaries. Since the crew were out of jobs as soon as the vessel sank, they were fully dependent on the "relief fund" established by the community for their support. The editors have contributed a great deal to the literature on the Titanic. A good purchase for public and academic libraries.?John Kenny, San Francisco P.L.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
Titanic mania is upon us this year, the eighty-fifth anniversary of the earth-shattering sinking of the giant British liner. As most know, on its maiden voyage from Southampton to New York, the Titanic struck an iceberg in the north Atlantic late on the night of 14 April 1912 and sank early the next morning with disastrous loss of life. Many books have sprung from the brow of this endlessly fascinating story, but the latest one has a difference: it is told not only in the voices of individuals involved but primarily from the perspective of the port of Southampton, where, of course, most of the Titanic crew members lived, and whose deaths had devastating effect on community spirit and livelihood. In large format with abundant illustrations, this absorbing account brings us a step closer to understanding what effect this event--when the "unsinkable" indeed sank--had not only on technology and national pride but also on personal lives. Brad Hooper

From the Publisher
THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER

"[This] exhaustive book focuses on the decimated British hamlet where the ship was constructed, launched and largely staffed. Unedited letters home--many from the servants, who suffered the highest casualty rate--are all the more heartrending for their blithe, unknowing mundanity." --Entertainment Weekly

"This absorbing account brings us one step closer to understanding what effect this event had not only on technology and national pride, but also on personal lives." --Booklist

Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Unique and poignant, not like any other Titanic book
By Klipspringer
I happened on this book at a B&B in England. I only had time to read a few pages, but as soon as I returned to the States I ordered a copy for myself. It is the story of the Titanic told in the words of the people who were there; those who built her, commanded her, worked on her, sailed on her, and both lived--and died--on the journey.

It is not another tired history of the ship. There is no conjecture, no opinion, no theories offered on one of the most publicized disasters of modern time. Those topics have been exhaustively covered elsewhere. This book is told almost entirely through the writings and oral histories of those people whose lives were forever changed by the ship's sinking. As such, it is a poignant, first-hand look at the life and times of people both rich and poor who sailed aboard the "unsinkable" Titanic. Because it is in their words, it provides a perspective that no ordinary history book can capture. Reading a letter written by a passenger to his family back home, from the deck of the Titanic herself, little knowing the calamity that lay ahead, is a moving experience. The book also delves into (again, through the words of the people involved) the tremendous long-term impact the loss of life had on the survivors, their families, and the city of Southhampton, where the Titanic's first and only voyage began and most of her crew lived. The book is also extensively illustrated with photos and drawings related to the ship and her passengers.

Even my wife, who detests history, enjoyed this book; while it is chronologically well organized and does indeed relate the events leading up to, during and after the ship's sinking, it is not a history book. It is a moving and emotional journey alongside 1503 ordinary people who were fated to die in the north Atlantic, and captures a simpler period in modern times, when "technology" was considered infallible.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Titanic Voices
By Rosa Bell Lopez
This book was amazing. It took me inside the lives of those who survived and those left alone without thier loved ones. This book answered questions I often wondered about. I wanted to know what happen after the tragedy, how it affected those left behind, the towns/cities the victims and thier families hailed from. I wanted more and this book gave it to me and then some. I enjoyed reading it. If you are a fan, please read it, I think you will also feel compassion and heartfelt sorrow for those who were lost and the loved ones left behind. Hopefully this book will answer your questions as well. This book gives you the inside scoop (per say). I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I am bias because my Great Grandfather is in this book
By Winnie Girl
My Great Grandfather was on the Titanic, and his picture is in this book, so I am biased. I LOVE IT, of course. Besides his picture, it is filled with other wonderful images and history. A must have for anyone interested in learning more about the most magnificent ship of all time.

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Rabu, 09 Juli 2014

[V546.Ebook] Get Free Ebook New Worlds, Lost Worlds: The Rule of the Tudors, 1485-1603 (Penguin History of Britain), by Susan Brigden

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New Worlds, Lost Worlds: The Rule of the Tudors, 1485-1603 (Penguin History of Britain), by Susan Brigden

No period in British history retains more resonance and mystery for contemporary readers than the sixteenth century. For history buffs, or almost any reader, the figures and events of Tudor Britain approach those of myth. Already published to critical acclaim in Great Britain, The Rule of the Tudors traces the course and currents of this formative era from the secretive Henry VII and his charming, capricious, ruthless Renaissance son, Henry VIII, to "Bloody Mary" Tudor and her nemesis, Elizabeth I, who trumpeted her adroit rule of a man's world with "the body of a weak and feeble woman but...the heart and stomach of a king."

Above all, the Tudor epoch emerges as a battleground between the new world of Protestantism and the old one of unquestioned Catholicism-a great religious rent in the fabric of English society that underlies turbulence and carnage from Henry VIII's break with Rome to the threat of conquest by Spain. The Rule of the Tudors is an authoritative, impeccably written, and startlingly atmospheric history.

  • Sales Rank: #295709 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Viking Books
  • Published on: 2001-06-25
  • Released on: 2001-06-25
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.32" h x 1.37" w x 6.34" l,
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 434 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

From Publishers Weekly
In many respects, the 16th is surely the most appealing of English centuries--an age of extraordinary vitality, when the intolerance that wrecked France was suppressed (almost everywhere but in Ireland) by pragmatic Elizabethan moderation. Susan Brigden's new work is the fifth entry in the nine-volume Penguin History of Britain, a series that features a number of leading lights (Kishlansky, Colley, Cannadine, etc.), and it provides a spirited introduction to this fertile period. Political and religious themes predominate, as befits a student of the late Sir Geoffrey Elton, but the author avoids the brilliant turgidity of her former teacher. Operating within the series' standard conceptual framework (dynastic change shaping the structure, right up until the fall of Mrs. Thatcher), Brigden writes with mature and engaging sobriety. She is fully conscious of the oppressive potential of English government, "whose superiority was "evident only to the English," and gives substantial attention to the disasters that befell the Irish. Indeed, her claim to speak "more of kings, and queens, than cabbages" is a little self-deprecating. The plight of the poor, prone to disease and catastrophic famine, is rarely far from the surface; astonishingly, we learn that one-third of the population of Norwich died during a plague epidemic in 1579. Equal attention is paid to popular religion to the lost world of English Catholicism, witch crazes and mystery plays and to family life and friendship. This is a well-balanced if fairly traditional history and will make for an ideal textbook when it appears in paper.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
This is a splendid piece of scholarship that engages the reader's imagination; Brigden's (history, Lincoln Coll., Oxford) extensive research has paid off in spades. While readers may find themselves running to the OED to check words and concepts long forgotten, the chase is worth it. The title hints at the lost worlds of this dramatic era in Britain, beginning with the early years of Henry VII and carrying forward through the fascinating dynastic and religious struggles of Henry VIII; Mary, Queen of Scots; and Elizabeth I. The book covers not only England but Ireland, Scotland, and Wales as well, and scholars of this period will come away with refreshing insights into this remarkable period. General readers will be equally delighted because the writing is so fluid and accessible. The chapter on social life and customs, "Family and Friends," could stand alone as a single book on Tudor times. Highly recommended for all academic and larger public libraries. Gail Benjafield, St. Catharines P.L., Ont.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
Brigden examines one of the most fascinating royal families to ever rule England. From 1485 to 1603 the Tudors reigned over a country torn by religious strife at home and unified by brilliant voyages of exploration and discovery abroad. The author sets the analysis of each succeeding Tudor monarch against the backdrop of cataclysmic cultural, social, and economic events that would forever alter the fabric of English history. As England was brutally transformed into both a Protestant nation and a formidable global power, Henry VII, Henry VIII, Edward VI, Mary I, and Elizabeth I initiated and reacted to a series of domestic and international events that would define the entire Tudor era. An outstanding chronicle of a pivotal epoch in British history. Margaret Flanagan
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Most helpful customer reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Detail you may or may not want
By Bobby Jeffcoat
Not a page turner, but if you have an existing interest in the subject, worth the effort. Much of the book concerns the peripheral subjects... Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Holland, France, Spain, the Pope. The common people of England are also examined, as they struggled with famine, plague, loss of land, and the shifting tsunamis of the religious world. Thus the motives of the powerful people around the English throne in the 1500s are brightly illuminated. Those "common knowledge" high points of history are brought into sharper focus by the detail provided of occurrences between the landmark events.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
I carried it around!
By CMC
Others have written that this book is not a page-turner, but I respectfully disagree. Once started, I took this book with me everywhere I went so that I could continue reading every time a few spare minutes came along. Brigden's work is so carefully organized that my reading didn't seem to suffer at all from my piecemeal approach. I agree that there is a not a lot of heavy didacticism in Brigden's analysis, but I appreciate having the wealth of information she presents organized in such a way that I can readily see connections between people and events and draw my own conclusions.

4 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
makes history fun
By A Customer
Wow! This is a great history of one of the most exciting periods of english history. Brigden does a fantastic job integrating politics, religion, popular culture, discoveries and exploration and so on. She has a natural talent for compelling narrative and detailed description. Buy this book, and you won't be sorry!

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